On the Picket Lines

Much respect to the people from "The Office" for this viral video about the writer's strike. I have joked about it a bit but the serious shit is going down. And even though I will probably never get in the Guild I will probably never play for the Pacers either, so good luck to them.

Actually, it doesn't matter on what level you write, and I think I've said this before, but by and large being a writer is like being a virgin. The captain of the football team calls and calls, but as soon as you give up what you got the phone stops ringing.

I've been reading a lot of the excellent Hard Case Crime paperback series lately, and straight up, a lot of those bastards died penniless and alone. And, of course, many, many others, from comic book writers to Edgar Allen Poe.

I will bet you anything Shakespeare was hearing some shit like, "Well, we've got this new paradigm, and as soon as we figure out this whole letting women play women instead of having young dudes play women thing, you'll get paid."

True story: once I was pitching some scripts to a pretty well-known direct-to-DVD producer and he interrupted me and said, "All I need is a title and box cover art, I don't need to know about the script." And that's about it.

Give me a shout at johnoakdalton@hotmail.com.

Centurions Roll Call!

In solidarity with my writing brothers I too am going into repeats of a kind. Once upon a time I played a lot of role-playing games with my pals, including the Marvel SAGA system. Naturally our fertile minds created our own Centurions Universe.

Pretty soon as we became scattered far and wide we moved into message board turn-based gaming. We had a "web page" written with that crazy stuff called "HTML" and everything. I learned a lot about the interwebs that way. As the site got crazier and more elaborate I did a couple of "Sunday Comics" featuring our characters which were then computer colored by a fellow gamer and the world-builder, the Caveman.

Here is Issue One, featuring my character The Mote, Don's character The Marksman, Dave's character Hydromanex, and Doug's character Silent Majority.

Introducing The Lug

In the Caveman's computer coloring, he glommed onto my clever homage to a certain hulking antihero.

People Bug Lug!

Nothing beats a good old-fashioned Roll Call. Astute readers of my rickety comic book "Volunteers" might notice that I re-used this story in one issue. I was merging the universes, sort of like when Charlton got bought out by DC, only without Steve Ditko.

Excelsior!

Well, this gets me hankerin' to play more Marvel SAGA. The Mote returns in "Mote Revenge Squad!"

Boom! Boom! Boom!

Well, nobody asked me to go on strike with y'all, but I'm no scab (unless somebody wants me to reboot BIONIC WOMAN for them), so here are some previous articles I wrote, for another website, about some wayward comic books from the dustbins of history...The Secret Tomb of Brother Voodoo, where the sad, forgotten, misfit heroes come home to rest. Let's look inside, shall we?


THE FOX
Steel Sterling #49
Mighty Comics Group, 1967
Just because The Fox has a blue costume and pointy-eared mask and drives a Fox-mobile with a pointy-eared mask on the front and has a cave called The Fox Den does NOT mean he is a Batman ripoff! This guy is MUCH more emotionally troubled than Batman. For instance, his alter ego Paul Patton, "a hip leader of the swinging set", loves Delilah, a "go-go dancer" (read between the lines here) at the Emerald Room. She loves him, but Paul blows her off. Says one jealous onlooker at the Emerald Room, "Wotta cool operator! Fabbest dish in town is ape for him! And he exits like King Lear! It can't be harmonies! Wonder what's his favorite breakfast cereal?" Say what? Anyway, The Fox takes time off from fighting "The Gasser" (don't ask) to chill at the Emerald Room himself. What gives? Says The Fox, "She loves Paul...thinks The Fox is a repulsive weirdo...if I can get her to love me as The Fox, she won't insist I drop this identity after she marries me! That is why I am MY OWN RIVAL!" Aren't we all, baby.


THE COUGAR
The Cougar #2
Atlas Comics, 1975
Stuntman Jeff Rand is not only The Cougar, but he played him in a movie. The movie, Jeff's only starring role, bombed, but apparently he couldn't live without the red jumpsuit open to the navel, the long blue gloves and boots, and the dinner plate-sized Cougar belt buckle, so for some inexplicable reason he now wears the movie costume of this fictional character ALL THE TIME. Most people would find their relatives putting them in a special home, but Jeff still finds gainful employment on several horror movies. Of course, in true Scooby-Doo fashion there generally ends up being a real murder on the set…


TIGERBOY, "The Boy Who Hates Us All"
Unearthly Spectaculars #2
Harvey Comics, 1966
Paul Canfield is a mod Jimmy Olsen-looking kid with a bad 'tude--namely, he hates the whole human race! That's cuz he's actually a Venutian, stuck on Earth in a plaid sportsjacket. But one day he realizes that "some humans are worse than others," and takes on some baddies as Tiger Boy! He actually turns into a Tiger, but strangely, keeps his own human head. In the middle of the heated battle, he also turns into Steelman, and then Rubberman when convenient (they each get their own head, however). He heads home after the battle and finds his mom and dad doffing their human guise and sporting their original Venutian appearance, apparently giant bees. They convince him to use his shape-changing for good, though TB ends with "I hate them as much as they hate each other!" With friends like this...


DRACULA
Dracula #7
Dell Comics, 1972
No, not that Dracula! This Dracula, a descendant of the original, opted to try to help the world by using a "bat serum" to cure brain damage. And, for obvious reasons, he has to try it on himself. Next thing you know he has the power to turn into a bat, but none of the nasty side effects, like drinking blood, for instance. What's a boy to do? How about put on a purple leotard with a pointy Batman-like mask and start fighting crime? A character truly from the beyond.

Two Plus Two is Three, and Other News

It's true, Daylight Savings Time kills people and destroys marriages. I was reading in the paper about how pedestrians in big cities get messed up during DST and walk out on the street during rush hour, thinking it's earlier or later. This was an actual true study; pedestrians are more likely to get killed during DST changeovers. The other evidence is more anectdotal; my wife and I argued about whether we were supposed to turn back the clocks tonight or last night and wasn't it last week last year? And when I found out I was wrong and it was last night, I got tired realizing I got up too early and wanted to go back to bed. Year Two of DST's seige on Indiana is not going well. It seems Orwellian to us that one day it's one time and another day it's some other time. Why have the rest of you not risen up and fought this?

I have been crazy busy at my day job and have decided, with the holidays fast approaching, to take the rest of the year off from freelancing. I completed seven scripts this year and that's enough for any one dude to contemplate. I'll probably celebrate by playing Guild Wars with my brother tonight after the Colts game, the first time we've played in a couple of months.

I took my Little Brother Harold and his cousin Timmy out trick-or-treating this year. Taking the two of them around reminded me a bit of me and my brother back in the day, when my dad took us around. All the dads did in my neighborhood, because Big John who had the house at the top of the hill always had cold beers out for the dads, so that's where everybody ended up after making the lazy figure-eight around our neighborhood. Big John's house would probably be burned down today, with all the people upset about scary costumes and the religious implications and so on. Back then you went as gore-spattered as you cared to (though the improvisational hobos and eyehole-sheeted ghosts were popular) and rampaged from one blazing porch light to the next. The 70s were probably the last fun time to be a kid.

Today is the day. The sainted Colts against the evil, bullying, score-piling Pats. SuperBowl Something and a Half is really being built up here. Last year I kept saying the Colts were the worst undefeated team in football, and they won the Super Bowl. This year they look better, so I don't know what will happen. The Pats sure seem to be getting more attention, outside of our TV market. Today is my dad's birthday and we will be planted right in front of the TV eating cake at 4 p.m. No better place to be.

Give me a shout at johnoakdalton@hotmail.com.

October 23, 1987

Too Many Broken Hearts Have Fallen In The River

Once upon a time I would get the Fall Preview issue of TV Guide and carefully pick through and figure out everything I was going to watch and how to hammock it all together. This year's Fall TV season has barely made a blip on my radar. I think I was too willing to invest in new shows last year that went belly-up and a lot of my old favorites are on the fade. I also think it's because a lot of my favorites, like LAW AND ORDER and LOST and the love that dare not speak its name, AMERICAN IDOL, are all starting late. For whatever reason.

Of the new shows, I thought BIONIC WOMAN was like a pretty good show on the USA Network in the early 90s, but I fell asleep during the first two episodes so I quit watching. PUSHING DAISIES has a really neat look but I can't see how it will sustain itself so I quit watching. DIRTY SEXY MONEY is interesting, but like STUDIO 60 last year has one of those big expensive casts of movie and TV people so I sense the stink of doom around it and quit watching.

I have drifted away from BOSTON LEGAL, DESPERATE HOUSEWIVES, MEN IN TREES, THE SHIELD, and BROTHERS AND SISTERS. I watch COLD CASE, CSI, CSI: MIAMI, and WITHOUT A TRACE whenever I can but don't miss it if I'm busy. I try a little harder to catch the LAW AND ORDER shows. I finally broke it off with the dry husk that is ER but truly enjoy the early lineup of MY NAME IS EARL, THE OFFICE, SCRUBS, and 30 ROCK. If there is anything else on I'm forgetting it.

Yeah, I know, HEROES and BATTLESTAR GALACTICA and DOCTOR WHO and some of that other stuff on cable is good, but for the last five years it's been me and my wife and my daughter so the Lifetime network wins out over the Sci-Fi Channel 2-1 most all the time. I try to catch up with Netflix.

Netflix will kill your network television habit in a snap. But it's like quitting coffee and starting on meth. Pretty much all of the shows I watch I get through Netflix anymore. Recent marathon sessions have included SOPRANOS, DEXTER, ROME, DEADWOOD, ENTOURAGE, EXTRAS, and a lot more.

Is there anything I should be checking out on regular TV? Snap my ennui in the comments, please.

The Weather's Turned, And All the Lines Are Down

My ass is busy and my mind is full. I've got a third draft of URAMESHIYA: GHOST SCREAM at the keyboard and a secret project or two to buff up. Here are some links to hold you over:

Bill Cunningham has a way of getting me all fired up.

Overall, these are my kind of peeps.

This kind of stuff I love.

My brother bought me this which I have enjoyed like life itself.

A pal who owns every one of the DVDs made from my scripts (which actually I don't even own) brought me a box o' this. And who wouldn't want that for Halloween?

Give me a shout at johnoakdalton@hotmail.com.

She's A Free and Gentle Flower, Growing Wild

I went for a little fall camping this weekend to clear my mind and it turned out to be the hottest weekend on record for October. So it goes. But I picked up another of my old nerd habits again, though this one might be considered in the tech-nerd subcategory which is more widely accepted than, say, the D&D nerd category, the comic book fan category, or a number of others that I belong to.

We went with another couple who are into Geocaching, which I dabbled with before the ominous shadow of the Patriot Act made it undesirable to be snooping around places with a GPS. We found a neat historic church with a grisly past and then found a geocache in a nearby state recreation area, placed there as part of a statewide geocaching contest by the Indiana DNR. Follow the link if you still don't know what I'm talking about.

My pal Dan and I hiked uphill in the blazing sun a mile or two back into the park, dutifully following the trail. Suddenly the GPS arrow towards the cache pointed hard left, even though the trail meandered along straight ahead out of sight.

Wringing wet and thinking about a pork loin cooking over the campfire way behind us, I suggested we cut cross country to the cache site, cutting a mile or two off of the walk. Unfortunately the arrow told us to go down a ravine and pop up on the other side.

We thrashed around for a bit in the back country before we suddenly, thankfully, found the hidden cache in a hollowed-out log. The joy that replaced the bitter anger in our hearts was short-lived when Dan slipped off the hollow log and began to tumble back down into the ravine. Fortunately a sapling smacked him in the head and broke his fall. It was one of those things that you sort of hold your breath for a moment, then laugh like dumbasses.

On the way back, my heart stopped for a moment when a camouflaged hunter stepped out from behind a tree. People asked me later why I didn't question him hunting with his friends in the state recreation area. Instead, with "Dueling Banjos" playing in my head, we loped for home.

Despite two near-death experiences, I think I'm ready to dust off my Garmin and hit the coordinates again.

Until later, give me a shout at johnoakdalton@hotmail.com.

The Sweet Escape

B-movie fan Tim Shrum made this Bigfoot cake based on the Polonia Brothers' horror feature AMONG US. I never pictured this happening when I wrote the script, that's for sure--a cake based on one of my scripts! Save a brother a piece, Tim!

Feed Your Head Fall 2007 Edition

My quarterly mystery review column for the magazine "Pomp and Circumstantial Evidence":

HOLLYWOOD STATION by Joseph Wambaugh
Joseph Wambaugh has written a number of cornerstone crime novels, among them THE CHOIRBOYS and THE ONION FIELD and others, but has largely been away from the scene for some time. HOLLYWOOD STATION is his return, and he picks up as if he had never left, with crudely funny, caustic, horrifying tales from the lives of the men and women of the LAPD. Wambaugh retains his knack for dialogue and his penchant for bleak humor in this expansive, edgy tale. Fans who remember Wambaugh’s work will definitely want to seek this out, while new readers who have come up since Wambaugh’s heyday will have a welcome surprise.

THE OVERLOOK by Michael Connelly
In my view, few series have been more rewarding in pure storytelling and character development than Michael Connelly’s mature thrillers centered around LA police detective Harry Bosch (although Walter Mosley’s Easy Rawlins series is quite close). After stints working as a private investigator and on the Cold Case squad, Bosch is back front and center leading a new investigation with political and emotional undertones. Connelly writes in a clipped style, but has created a resonant world for his long-running protagonist.

THE TIN ROOF BLOWDOWN by James Lee Burke
New Orleans-area policeman Dave Robicheaux returns to a post-Katrina world in James Lee Burke’s latest mystery in this long series. Though the procedural elements are fairly straightforward, Burke’s vivid writing on the hurricane’s aftermath makes THE TIN ROOF BLOWDOWN one of the stronger entries among the Robicheaux novels. Burke’s powerful prose detailing the tragedy stands as a fine piece of writing on its own merits, and will certainly please fans.

NIGHT WALKER by Donald Hamilton
I haven’t been able to praise the “Hard Case Crime” series enough, with its retro-pulp covers and lineup of lost noir classics. This one comes from Donald Hamilton, whose muscular Matt Helm novels were a far cry from the go-go Dean Martin films of the 60s. NIGHT WALKER is a tough little thriller where a soldier gets mistaken for a dead man, with two femme fatales along for the ride to get this hapless mug into more bad news. Hamilton’s writing is brusque and clear-eyed, with all of the noir trappings intact.

I See Your Eyes, A Funny Kind of Yellow

Friday night I helped with the Richmond (Indiana) Art Museum's film series, where we screened 2001 in all its oversized glory. There was a nice crowd there and everybody came out after looking either drowsy or mind-blown or both. It was cool to see it with fresh eyes. I have always dug that "look" that was the perceived future from a 60s-70s perspective. And what was neat was that a lot of people stood around in the lobby and talked later. It reminded me how great true cinema is. I've never stopped loving it.

Bill Cunningham is smarter and cooler than me in so many ways, not just cuz he loved Sex Machine. Here he tells you the real deal, so I thought it was worth linking. It's 100 percent true you can sell a movie based on having a script and a cool poster alone; some people I have worked with have done it.

My longer reviews of festival fare from Microcinema Fest are starting to crop up over at Microcinema Scene, if you want to check them out.

Until later, give me a shout at johnoakdalton@hotmail.com.

Them!

I don't make it a habit of pooching off of other people's websites, but I thought this would be enjoyable to readers of this blog, and sort of has to be seen to be believed. This looks like the poster for a 50s Red Scare movie but is actually promoting the new NBA developmental league team debuting in Ft. Wayne, Indiana this season. They allowed the people of Ft. Wayne to vote on a team name. Obviously there are a lot of crazy MFs in Ft. Wayne. Now I have a new favorite sports team, based on the poster alone.

PoBros Day 07

The complete lunatics at the Polonia Brothers Fan Club have decreed another Polonia Brothers Day next Friday, their birthday. The total eclipse and rain of frogs during the last PB Day was a pure coincidence. So rush out and snag one of my favorites of theirs--incidentally written by me--AMONG US, from a dollar bin near you! Or, if you really want to celebrate, fly to Japan and check out THE DA VINCI CURSE--also incidentally written by me! Tell my pal Shogo I sent you!

Microcinema Fest 2007: Saturday Highlights

The Saturday screenings started with a blast with HOW MY NEXT DOOR NEIGHBOUR DISCOVERED LIFE ON MARS, a near-perfect slice of life short that sent chills down my spine. A boy fantasizes about traveling into space, and an elderly neighbor watching out a window helps him on his journey. Beautifully shot, flawless sound design, just highly imaginative work. Australian director Austin Andrews put it all together here.

Next was a pleasant little short from Todd Tinkham called SADIE TURNS SEVEN, a cute look at a little girl's birthday by the seashore.

More family fare next with LETTING GO, Dan Masucci's pleasantly shot, and passingly pleasant, short story of a boy and his blanket going their different ways.

I have said before that fimmaker Matt Meindl is one of the more creative rising talents in microcinema, with his wholly unique perspectives and his deft use of mixed media. His short LOLLY GAGGER may be one of his most accomplished yet, both in terms of production design and storytelling.

Nashville filmmaker Chase Kuertz brought an earthy, downhome feel to his family tale THE JOURNEY, a short about two brothers and their ailing father. Kuertz showed nice tools in production and also in his performance. His work is really growing stronger.

In the closing evening, AESOP'S DINER led the charge with the second short of the day to send chills down my spine. Cara Maria O'Shea's pitch-perfect urban fable about the dissolution of a rising band features great performances, solid production values, and a knockout soundtrack that my brother and I listened to driving home the next day. In my top three favorite projects in the Fest.

Steve Gelder's easygoing short comedy ARC played next, where two slackers go on a voyage of discovery (of sorts), and you can read what I first thought of it here.

Next was Bill Sebastian's big Texas drama MIDLOTHIA, which snagged a handful of Awards Sunday and was much admired at the Fest for its good performances, honest script, and solid production work. I think MIDLOTHIA has great crossover potential from micro to mainstream, and Sebastian's cast and crew deserve wider recognition for their work. This one snagged Best of Fest and others.

PETER'S PRICE is a crackling noir where a rising exec is robbed by somebody who turns out to be an old friend, and where their conversation leads is the suprising core of this crisp short. You can read more of my original take on it here.

New Zealand filmmaker Amit Tripuraneni's FIVE finished out the Fest on a strong note. Of course, loyal readers of this blog know I am working on a project with Amit, but setting that aside I enjoyed this work on its own merits. Tripuraneni coached naturalistic, almost improvised-seeming performances from his leads, coupling that with energetic visuals and a crisp pace in his "Twilight Zone"-flavored tale of camping friends and the revelations a long weekend at a remote cabin reveals.

And that's MCF 07! Some of these first-impression reviews will be turning into full-length reviews in the days and weeks and months ahead at Microcinema Scene.

Until then, give me a yell at johnoakdalton@hotmail.com.

Microcinema Fest 2007: Friday Highlights

I MC'd the Friday afternoon session and had a solid line-up.

First was the action short CYN from director Alex Ferrari. Ferrari played in the Fest before with BROKEN, a sharp, FX-laden short which garnered some notoriety when the DVD came out with tons of "how-to" extras. CYN is more of the same, a technical exercise that could have used a bit more heft in the storytelling department. But if Ferrari puts out another DVD loaded with peripheral material again this one could also catch the rocket.

Next was YELLOW FELLAS from Canadian director Tetsuro Shigematsu, a comedy-drama about racial identity that has some laugh-out-loud comedy as well as some surprisingly sharp political statements. Hammers its points a few too many times and is a bit uneven in spots, but a worthy feature from a new voice.

Fellow Hoosier Peter O'Keefe and I have been circling a lot of the same places, including teaching a screenwriting workshop together in Palatine two summers ago. As long as we never circle the drain together we'll be okay. I liked seeing his strong short LULU TAKES A LOVER with fresh eyes. To see what I thought about it the first time, go here.

I have said for a while there should be more connectivity between aspects of the DIY culture, and Joe Biel's zine documentary A HUNDRED DOLLARS AND A T-SHIRT shows one way how that can happen. Although technically wanting, I think the audience had their eyes opened a bit by the doc's content. I gave Biel's work a look before, here.

After a really good Chinese dinner during the break, we came back to some old school ReWinders from the early days of the Fest bringing the game with GRIM CIRCUMSTANCE. Erin Arbogast's tense, sidewinding short thriller has a RASHOMON by way of PULP FICTION feel.

The gut-busting comedy short SIMPLE TASKS from Tim Wilkerson was next, an absurdist parody of "how-to" videos of days gone by. Biggest laughs of the Fest.

Australian filmmaker Austin Andrews was next with KITE CIRCUIT, a visually arresting but thematically curious short about intertwining lives on a mild afternoon. Great shooting and editing, but eclipsed by a project Andrews screened later in the Fest that I felt was my favorite of the year.

THE CHEMISTRY OF DATING was a genial comedy feature from director Matt Olson which gets an uptick from a strong performance from Brandon Rowray, a lonely collegiate who tries to apply scientific principles to finding the perfect mate. Although the character is a bit pickier than I might have been during my bloom of youth, I found myself rooting for him throughout. Rowray is complemented by a well-rounded supporting cast, with John Snipes as a professor just phoning it in especially memorable.

CLEAN BREAK, a hip comedy short about trying to break off with an unflappable girlfriend, had a funny little riff throughout.

Next came the coming-of-age drama COOP'S NIGHT IN from director Joe Burke, which many people named as their Best of Fest. It was telling to me that despite being acknowledged as strong in many categories, the short was shut out of the awards (as one of my other favorites, screened Saturday, AESOP'S DINER). It just shows the strength of this year's festival. Good performances carry the day for Burke's work, and you can read the rest of what I thought here.

Next was the edgy, hardboiled INTOXICATED DEMONS, whose content sent a few ripples through the audience. See what I first thought here.

Next came a dramatic short from Canadian director Carey Lewis, ROSE, an interesting character sketch of a disturbed young man. His STREETS OF WONDERLAND remains one of my favorite microcinema features, and blew the lid off the Fest two summers ago.

Finishing out the night was Scott Beck and Bryan Woods with the faux-spaghetti western THE BRIDE WORE BLOOD. This directing pair from Iowa have screened at the last few Fests, and I think this was one of their best works. They have been able to surround themselves with many talented actors--Travis Shepherd, Justin Marxen, Jim Siokos and Sabien Minteer among them--but I would like to see them tighten up their storytelling, both on the page and through their shooting and editing.

A long day with a lot of good screenings, but there's one more day to go--and my two favorites of the Fest. And that's next time, with more reviews from the gut.

MIcrocinema Fest 2007: Thursday Highlights

This year, my brother Eric and I got right to business in Palatine, hitting a drive-thru with Illinois filmmakers Jon Solita and Jeremy Neander and Canadian filmmaker/Fest founder Wally Fong on the way to Cutting Hall. There were more than 30 entries to screen in three days and some butts needed to get in some seats. Later Solita would write me that he had a massive bruise on his ass from twenty hours of movies. But it was game on from when the lights dimmed forward.

First was OMEGA 35 from young Florida auteurs the Dastoli Brothers. I have been saying these dudes are young for quite a few years and they are still young, as they started bringing the goods back in high school. This FX-laden sci-fi short harkened back to my high school days, giving off an early-80s vibe with a BLADE RUNNER/OUTLAND-type story set in a dystopian future. The Dastolis remain long on style over substance, but their style is worth just sitting back and enjoying.

Next was PRETTY DEAD FLOWERS from Justin Liberman, a dramatic short which gave off a different retro vibe, more of a French New Wave thing, as a an aging model engages a flippant young photojournalist in a meeting of the minds. Shot in luminous black and white, with mature storytelling and nuanced performances, PRETTY DEAD FLOWERS was a nice surprise and one of my personal top three favorite projects in the Fest.

IMPRINT from the Linn Brothers was the first feature of the Fest, a polished supernatural drama featuring a largely Native American cast. This is another pair of brothers who I have been following since high school, though they are much closer to my age. They have delivered a mature, resonant work with nice shooting and acting throughout. The Linn Brothers, the original Fest hosts, were given an Alumni recognition at the Awards Banquet Sunday, much deserved.

AN APOLOGY TO THE DEAD was the next feature, and shows the dangers of a professor becoming too close to an eager student who happens to work in a massage parlour, a predicament I faced time and again during my teaching days. Despite some shortcomings in the technical and storytelling mechanics, I thought the two leads were quite strong and created some memorable moments.

Next time--more off the hip reviews of Microcinema Fest 2007!

The Start of Microcinema Fest 2007

A threepeat in Palatine. Here is the lobby of the beautiful Cutting Hall, where the Fest played. This year there were cool new t-shirts and a raffle, in which I won two memberships to the Gene Siskel Film Center, which is all I wanted in the world.

The Real Start of Microcinema Fest 2007

Jagermeister-masters Jon Solita and my brother Eric start off the Fest in style. There was at least one night when my brother was going to bed when I was getting up.

Iron Man

Canadian filmmaker Wally Fong, longtime Fest anchor and founder of ReWind, updates the ReWind site at around 3 a.m., which was like noon to him. I know it was at least that late because we didn't go to Spunky Dunkers for donuts until after midnight every night. Wally posted a bunch of pictures of himself getting drunk and hanging around with young girls. Apparently the wives are more understanding in Canada.

Meat Skillet Challenge Year 3

The traditional filmmaker's breakfast at Billy's Pancake House, a place I fantasize about eating at when I'm away. Check out Wally Fong getting ready to take the Meat Skillet Challenge, a heaping pan of heart blockage that has broken many a man on its back, including me. Filmmaker Jason Santo increased his street cred the previous year by being the first person in Palatine history to finish one, a feat not dimished by the revelation that he used the burning ulcer in his stomach to access additional space in his body cavity. Later filmmaker Brian McQuery also ate one, leading people to theorize that the formula was changing. The feats of these two great warriors was still being discussed this year. A friend of Brian's who first came to the Fest this year said the story has passed into legend in certain parts. He declined to sample one himself.