Thought He Passed His Own Shadow, By The Backstage Door

New reader George writes,

Hi, I'm 19, Irish, and trying to be a scriptwriter. know any submission points?

Hmmm, I would say work up one or two spec scripts based on what you would like to write. Then focus on nurturing relationships and sees what evolves.

It's tricky in my world (b movies) because a lot of people write their own scripts. Also a lot of people get burned so it takes a long time to build trust and relationships (probably also true in A list movies, don't know).

Work on your craft, start to meet people through the internet or visiting conferences, etc.

I hope this helps.

Questions always welcome at johnoakdalton@hotmail.com.

Someone Found The Letter You Wrote Me On The Radio

Loyal reader Richard writes:

I am a big fan of your work and the genre(s) you work in. And from reading your blogs, I have gotten the impression that spec scripts are difficult - VERY difficult - to get made. In the low-budget arena, it seems getting commissioned through relationships to write other people's projects are the way to go. It's all who you know, as I've learned.
 My question is really more about the actual writing element, not so much "breaking in." When you write a project, are you writing with the budget in mind? I know some folks, like Mark Polonia, are INCREDIBLY resourceful and make movies that look way bigger than their budgets are. But does that affect your writing?

Richard, you are 100 percent correct, I have been hired now to write or rewrite I think 25 scripts in the last 14 years and none of them were specs.  I have really only written two specs; the very first one I wrote, to signal that I could do it, and one I really wrote for myself thinking I would produce it one day.  In the b-movie world it is hard enough because your average low to no budget film director is writing their own scripts, either to save money or more likely that they are making films to begin with because they have a story they want to tell.  But sometimes what they have is a concept or idea, or they have already sold a title and poster to a distributor without a script (that has for sure happened on some of my projects, believe it or not), and that is where there is sometimes a window of opportunity.

There's no doubt it is about building relationships.  The person I have collaborated the most with, Mark Polonia, is someone I have communicated with for a number of years and started just by nurturing a friendship.  Some other examples among many are director Ivan Rogers, who unfortunately has since passed away, and director Henrique Couto, who I actually met way back when he was in high school.  There are so many pretenders, dreamers, wannabes, and fringe personalities in the b-movie world that when you have had any success and/or notoriety at all you have to pick and choose who you work with carefully.  Once somebody knows you are legit it makes it easier.  When you can look out for somebody else and help them you also put karma in the bank.

I have learned to write as cheaply as possible.  If there turns out to be more money, ideas can always be added back in.  With Mark, I pretty much know who exactly is going to be in it and what the locations are going to be, and try to play to those strengths.  I learned about Henrique from watching his other work.  Same with Ivan Rogers and others.  And often they will flat out tell you, we have an ape suit, let's make a bigfoot movie (and so on).  I try to use minimal locations, crisp dialogue, limited roles, focus the action over a single day or night, no crowd scenes, no complicated effects, flesh out the movie by building kill scenes and other scenes like it related to the main action  so that they can be shot at different times and places.  Those are pretty much my main tips.  :)

Thanks for the email, and good luck on your own projects.

First Mailbox of 2011

New reader Scott writes:

Question for you, I have written a collection of horror scripts and I'm trying to sell my first one to break into the industry.  How did you get your funding for the movie, SEX MACHINE?  I'm trying everything and getting nowhere, from investors, production companies and even tried an agent.  I'm open to any suggestions that you might have.  

Thanks for asking.  I actually was the co-writer on that, not the director/producer.  I have primarily been a screenwriter and not involved much on the production side. But it seems like what you are asking is how to break in.

When I was trying to break in about ten years ago I started by going to some conventions and just trying to meet people.  There is the Flashback Horror Con in Chicago, as well as the Wizard World Comic Book Convention, Gen Con down in Indianapolis, Cinema Wasteland in Ohio, and many others.  I would recommend just introducing yourself to people and not pitching scripts.  Relationships are important because a director/producer/distributor needs to know you are easy to get along with and reliable before they commit to you, because the screenwriting process can be a few months to a year of collaboration (and then another year or so of production which might include some rewrites). 

At some point they will want to know you have skills but frankly it is rare for someone to buy a spec script, in my opinion.  I have written a few over the years but in the last ten years I have been hired to write 20 scripts and none of them were from my script ideas.  Most were rewrites of somebody else's script (that includes Sex Machine) or written to somebody else's specs, either what the director wants or what the distributor wants or so on.  I think it has nice to have some to show you know the basics of screenwriting, structure and terms and so on.  I use Movie Magic Screenwriter but many others like Final Draft and there is the free Celtx which is a good platform if you don't want to spend money yet.

I have never had an agent and have always been able to negotiate my own contracts (and you should always have a contract).  If an agent would take you on, I think it is worthwhile, but I have always done my own thing and have my own network now.  I think to get to another level obviously you need an agent, though I am happy with where I am now.

I hope this answers your basic question, but feel free to write back if you have more questions.  I am at johnoakdalton@hotmail.com.

But As If To Knock Me Down, Reality Came Around

Knocked out by a sinus infection as winter slowly releases its grip on the Heartland of America.  Dwelling on happier days seems to help.  And, despite what was said on a recent episode of "Parks and Recreation" about time-shares in Muncie (yes, I am still vigilantly watching for slights against my hometown, Amy Poehler, and I died a little inside) we are hoping for sunshine soon.

A recent search on Bing, neighbor's daughter shows up at my door with debris from oak trees screaming, has to be an all-time classic and I'm sure has a complicated story all its own.  But sometimes people come here with questions about other John Daltons who have done much better than me in life.  But, as a public service, I will try to answer these questions as best I know how.

how tough is a hickory stump?
 I've had to pull a few stumps in my day, and there's no such thing as an easy stump.

 great criminal detective books?
So many, but here's five off of the top of my head:  The Little Sister by Raymond Chandler, The Bride Wore Black by Cornell Woolrich, The Dain Curse by Dashiell Hammett, The Heat's On by Chester Himes, When the Sacred Ginmill Closes by Lawrence Block.


unusual or whacky eating establishments in indiana?
I've tried many, but what comes to mind right away is Maid Rites just across the border in Greenville Ohio.

what other accompelments did john dalton have in his career?
Well, in addition to my sordid life in b-movies, I also like to draw comics.


Until later, I am at johnoakdalton@hotmail.com.

I Keep Holdin' On Enough To Say

I have been slow on updating this humble blog lately, what with a friendly little root canal and a cozy sore throat keeping me away from the keyboard as of late. But I have been doing quite a bit of reading in my attempt to once again read 50 books this year.

If I seem suddenly cooler it is because I am updating from my new (to me) Mac G4. Now, to the mailbag:

New reader Adrienne writes that she is not an Oscars fan, but "maybe we'll start when you're up for an award...It's genuine, you are our best hope." Sadly, Adrienne basically wrote that she has to throw her television in the dumpster.

Loyal reader Jim writes "Just added Among Us, Peter Rottentail, and your other films to our Netflix disc and Watch Instantly queues." As Jim is Adrienne's husband, I fear his television is going to end up in the dumpster one way or the other.

Seriously, though, I hope they enjoy them, and I appreciate Netflix for putting them up there; and for delivering me a steady stream of DVDs at home, a welcome treat when I live half an hour from the nearest Blockbuster and ten minutes from the nearest video store of any kind, which is a Redbox at a MacDonald's.

New projects always bubbling; until later I am at johnoakdalton@hotmail.com.

Time to Play B-Sides

With family scattered and a volatile winter at hand, this holiday season has seemed a bit fragmented. But I have had a nice Christmas; I got a cool GPS for my car (still deciding on a name), a stash of Justice League DVDs from my brother, some dress clothes, and with some mad money went out today and bought that new Dog Whisperer book and the board game Diplomacy which I have always wanted to try. I am right now contendedly reading comics and watching Doctor Who. A small happiness is enough sometimes.

Now that you can catch me on Facebook and on Twitter I get more mail from all kinds of sources. Perhaps it's time on this winter's eve to open the ol' mailbag and check out some fresh correspondence.

New reader Kevin writes, Hey John. I came across your blog from CommonFilm's website. I was intrigued by your short bio, and I was wondering if you had any of those old mixtapes you used to make in your basement available, or any of your other works? Also, I personally prefer nerd. DIY hipster is no fun.

I have been asked for a few odds and ends, but never any old mix tapes or copies of my classic punk recordings from the early 80s with The Johnnies; especially my stirring cover of "Blitzkrieg Bop" by The Ramones, which stunned audiences into silence at Muncie Northside High School during those halcyon days of Punk and New Wave. Sadly, all of this material, as well as a number of my old homemade comics and Super-8 movies, are lost to the dustbins of history. Though, perhaps, not as many as should be lost. Thanks for asking, though!

Along those same lines, my old friend and neighbor Ivan found my blog and wrote, Sounds like you've definitely found what you enjoy doing. I remember those 8mm movies as well and all the comics you used to do. It's great to see your creative streak is still alive.

Obviously you don't remember those movies and comics that well! But I do have you to thank for my dream of getting into Fangoria Magazine, which I first read at your house!

B-movie fan Kipp wrote, Finally sat down and watched Monster Movie and saw you on the extras very touching addition my eyes did water up.

Thanks, Kipp, I was honored to be asked to be part of the John Polonia tribute on the "Monster Movie" DVD; but I'm not sure I'll watch it again. The movie itself is a lot of fun, though. Check out the trailer for "Halloween Night," based on one of John's scripts, here.

Until later, give me a shout at johnoakdalton@hotmail.com.

Toast and Marmalade for Tea

I thought I would take a moment and answer a few questions posted at my blog.

Longtime reader and independent cartoonist Tom writes, have you any thoughts on Muncie's new film festival? The start of something good or an one hit wonder? (And thanks for the comics, Tom!)

I thought my hometown's film festival was a good idea, but they should be brave enough to show only the independent work from Indiana instead of feeling they have to couple each work with a more famous mainstream work with Indiana ties, like HOOSIERS. Film festivals at that level should represent work not available anywhere else, especially not down the road at Blockbuster. Or maybe I'm just sour because nobody invited me. How many scripts does a brother have to sell to get a shout-out from his own hometown?

Mad pulp bastard Bill writes, I remember the Cougar and the whole of the Atlas line of super stars...

I do more than remember, thanks to ebay and studious attention to quarter bins at comic book shows I have quite a lot of them. And some of them ain't bad, especially DEMON HUNTER, THE HANDS OF THE DRAGON, and WULF THE BARBARIAN--athought two of those three only lasted one issue! An awesome site here.

Filmmaker Pete writes, Seven scripts in one year?!?!? Are you kidding me? My goal has always been to write one feature script a year. And that's a chore! How do you do it? Write a blog entry about that. I would love to hear your process.Also, what are the titles of the scripts... just curious.

You have to develop discipline enough to keep distractions at bay, like comics, TV, and Colts games (or in your case, Bucs games) and stop listening to that little voice in your head that tells you nobody cares but you and nothing will ever happen with the project and nobody will ever read your work. Although creativity is important, there is a lot of craft involved ; there are plenty of creative people in the world who can't stop playing XBox long enough to get the work done. And there is a lot of butt to chair involved.

That being said, it was my busiest year since I started really chasing freelancing in 2000 A.D. and I'm not sure that feat could be repeated.

This year was great for me in that I took '06 off because of a change of job and some family issues and I didn't know if I had been away too long. But right away I did SPLINTERHEAD and NEW JOURNEY TO THE CENTER OF THE EARTH for Polonia Brothers Entertainment, a rewrite of the bigfoot movie PRIMAL which I believe came out from Automatic Media (though it came out without my rewrite), a rewrite of a serial killer movie MENTAL SCARS for producer Richard Myles, supernatural thriller URAMESHIYA (GHOST SCREAM) for New Zealand director Amit Tripuraneni (though we are still rewriting), and two projects I did on a nondisclosure that hopefully one day I can talk about, a sci-fi and a war movie.

Old gaming pal Barticus Rex writes: You can't drift from The Shield. Seriously. And check out Big Bang Theory and How I Met Your Mother on CBS Monday nights.

Thanks for the leads. I hate missing THE SHIELD but it is too hard-core for my wife's delicate sensibilities. That's what DVD box sets are for, I guess.

New reader Brian writes, Law and Order:CI is still good. A better switch to USA.

This turned out to be true! I didn't realize this had even happened, so I found it and started watching it. It looks a little less glossy but, in my mind, is better than SVU (or as we call it in my house, SUV) right now.

Thanks for the feedback! Give me a shout at johnoakdalton@hotmail.com.

Back to the B-Mailbag

New reader Michael writes:

I googled your name and your Blog popped up. I couldn't help but notice we have many of the same interests -- screen writing, b-movies, film making, comics, gaming, Kurt Vonnegut, The Catcher in the Rye, etc. After discovering this and the fact you've accomplished many of the same things I want to accomplish, I had to stop myself from prostrating three times at your feet, and asking you to teach me the WAY (or at least be my mentor). But I thought that might be a little unprofessional.

Aim higher! I am still hoping for William Goldman or Michael Tolkin.

I'm looking forward to watching the movies you wrote. I actually purchased two online over the weekend, PETER ROTTENTAIL and RAZORTEETH.

Well, we'll see how much you want to prostrate yourself afterwards!

I watched the SEX MACHINE trailer, and it looks really well done. I see your friends with Bill Cunningham. I've read Bill Cunningham's Blog before and have rented SCARECROW... or maybe it was SCARECROW SLAYER... or both...

Bill is a smart guy with great advice on his blog, especially the part where he told everybody to watch SEX MACHINE.

Thanks for writing, and feel free to give me a yell at johnoakdalton@hotmail.com.

Man Has Cried A Billion Tears

I just sent off a few new scenes to the Polonia Brothers for NEW JOURNEY TO THE CENTER OF THE EARTH and am still punching up the third act of URAMESHIYA (GHOST SCREAM) for director Amit Tripuraneni. So let's go to the mailbag for today's entry:

Sporadic reader Joe writes:

Hi, I was watching a movie called Las Vegas Bloodbath, and in the credits, it credits the fx to someone named John Royal Dalton. Any relation?

Some research on IMDB tells me that this is actually David Royal Dalton. No relation. How come nobody wants to know if I'm related to Timothy Dalton?

Loyal reader Dave writes:

Hey, I just signed in to E-mail you. I decided to take a break last night from wrestling (as I usualy watch every night, but the Benoit thing has me reeling) and finaly got to watch Sex Machine. I dug it, you were right, my kind of movie. My only cretique of it has to do with the lack of a budget they had. I assume the budget =the bad ADR which was pretty distracting in some scenes, but other then that I enjoyed the hell out of it.

Thanks, Dave! Good luck with your wrestling career!

New reader Don writes:

During my hitch down in Louisiana (late '80s, early '90s), I remember watching a video from the rental store that a friend had rented, and I'm wondering if it isn't the Cannibal Campout listed under Jon McBride's body of work. I remember a chunky kid with an '80s haircut singing along to a song in a van on the way to the woods, and the bad guys pulling the guts out of a living victim while his buddy had to watch--not much else. Memories!

With that description, it could be nothing else but! Jon enjoys singing in his movies--check out "Bigfoot Stole My Six-pack" in AMONG US.

Write me at johnoakdalton@hotmail.com.

Happy Father's Day!

Happy Father's Day to all the dads out there. Also, call your dad if you haven't already.

This one has been a bit dull; I have been slouched on the couch all day watching my ball teams lose, suffering from a head cold. My wife was in a fender bender last night and is okay but not feeling too great either. Oatmeal and tea for supper, with Nyquil for desert.

I got a lot of emails during my Florida sojourn. Longtime reader Pete writes:

John, In case you didn't know, you can now watch Among Us on Netflix in their Watch Now offering. So, if you have a membership, you can watch it online for free. I'm going to check it out this weekend, if things don't get too hectic.

Thanks for the tip! That Bigfoot movie seems to have legs, or at least feet, it seems.

New reader Don writes:

You didn't go to Ball State by any chance? I remember the film programming at the Student Center there being first-rate, with flicks like Attack of the Mushroom People and Robot Monster--the Daily News offered up that a guy named John Dalton was to credit. Seeing that we're the same age and you're also a Hoosier....

Truly, that was I. That job was fun, but a struggle at times. We made money showing TOP GUN and FERRIS BUEHLER so we could show stuff like A BOY AND HIS DOG and BARBARELLA outside in the Quad at our makeshift drive-in.

I hadn't thought about that in a while. This interwebs is a funny thing.

Until later, give me a shout at johnoakdalton@hotmail.com.

The B-Mailbag Returns

Loyal Canadian reader Jamie writes:

Hello John, how's it going? Congrats on SEX MACHINE!!!! AMONG US aired again last weekend on Space, the third in the CREATURE FEATURE line-up. Very cool!

Thanks, and I'm glad AMONG US is still thrillin' them up in the Great White North!

Longtime reader Doug weighs in on a number of geek-pop references of late:

Well, first off, you're pretty much exactly right about the black alien costume, except that the actual origin is even more non-sensical. My brothers and I actually got the Secret Wars books for Christmas one year, along with the very first Transformers Comics put out by Marvel. Just so happened that they were the first comics we ever got, so I still remmeber them in every detail. While catching a breather in an alien fortress on an alien world, Wasp shows up (not surprisingly) wearing a new costume. Spidey, looking rather ragged by this point, asks where she got the new threads, and she points to a room and says that she got some alien machine to make them for her. Spidey wanders into the room, looks at a variety of machines, picks one that looks like a salon hair dryer, puts his head underneath, and a black ball drops into his hand. It then covers his whole body, apparently dissolving his old costume. He later goes back to earth, and wild hijinks ensue. Weirder still is that he makes a guest appearance in Transformers #3 wearing the balack costume. THose were the days, I guess.

I would advise against seeing FF2. FF1 was absolutely awful. I don't expect the new one to be any better. I did find it interesting that the actor who plays Silver Surfer is a former Ball State Charley Cardinal.

As for JLA/JSA, I had the same thoughts about the Legion Appearance. I think this is (one of) DC's way of showing that the multiverse is back and that Pre-Crisis earth really did exist. I'll loan you 52 when I come up this summer, but suffice it to say that the big hidden mystery was that there are now 52 parallel earths in existence as a result of Infinite Crisis. The Countdown book that just started will (I think) explore which earths they are. One of them certainly appears to be the Kingdom Come Earth. Beyond all that, the crossover is very entertaining. Some of the best mainstream stuff I've read in a while.

Thanks for the info, Doug!

I am trying to finish up a secret project over the long weekend, then starting another secret project, and maybe taking another pass at NEW JOURNEY TO THE CENTER OF THE EARTH. Meanwhile, my baby graduates high school a week from Sunday. Other than that, nothing much going on, so give me a yell at johnoakdalton@hotmail.com.

Calling Doctor Love

Loyal reader Dave writes:

Hey, you have a link to the trailer for Sex Machine? I've been looking for one all day to show a co-worker of mine, but I am a bit leary of just going to Google and typing in Sex Machine.

As well you should be. I have heard that some people are trying to put porn up on the internet. Try this site for all of your more or less work-safe "Sex Machine" needs: http://www.sexmachinemovie.com/.

My daughter seems to have a new boyfriend, who introduced himself to me by saying that he knew a lot about my movies. Knowing the kinds of movies I have been involved in, this is not a good sign.

I had finally broken off with ER but found myself watching a "special episode" last night. It still needs euthanasia. I don't remember if I wrote this here before, but I remember when ER was about a lot of really good doctors trying to fight a corrupt system at a bare-bones hospital. Now it's about about a lot of young hipsters hooking up. And, what's funny when you really watch carefully, many of them are just not very good doctors.

Got a couple of projects in the hopper to hopefully shout about soon. Until then, give me a shout at johnoakdalton@hotmail.com.

Strawberry Letter 23

Longtime reader and fellow writer Peter emails:

Saw that photo of you in your snow suit shovelling snow and it immediately cleared up some writer's block I was experiencing. I was having absolutely no luck being able to visualize a serial killer from small town Indiana so I could create the character... Then, I saw that photo... :)

This month's Premiere magazine has an artice about "DTV," the cool new name for direct-to-video fare, and how it is performing extremely well for companies. One interesting note the article mentions is that a lot of writers and directors will take a chance on DTV because they would like to get the work, but many actors still won't touch it. I'll have to show the article to the next person who asks when I am going to make some "real" movies.

I was waiting in a bookstore down the way from where my daughter was getting her hair done for Winter Dance and happened to grab a Fangoria off the shelf and open right to the reviews of my pal Jon McBride's recently re-released cult classics Woodchipper Massacre and Cannibal Campout. These two SOV features are finally coming up from the underground and getting the recognition they deserve as products of their time. Cannibal is downright skin-crawling and Woodchipper is a surprisingly funny dark comedy; both shot on glorious SVHS, circulating among afficianados and hard to find for close to twenty years. Jon has given me great advice over the years, and as "Wayne Beaubier" stole some scenes in my bigfoot movie Among Us, so I wish him nothing but luck with this latest good fortune. Definitely look for these, new on DVD for the first time.

Give me a yell at johnoakdalton@hotmail.com.

Telephone Line

I have been away working up some new projects, not including the dream I had where I was directing the Polonia Brothers playing gangsters in a noir film called Double Knuckle Homicide which I know sounds like a manga but again, this was a dream. Not that I dream about the Polonia Brothers all that much or anything. But wouldn't that be a cool movie?

To answer a few letters I have received in the ol' blog mailbag during the time that I was writing about Microcinema Fest: JK, I actually have heard of a number of westerns with undead themes; DG, if you're still looking for recommendations I have really found "Ex Machina" pretty damn cool lately; DS, yes, I will be writing longer reviews of stuff from the Fest, and a couple of the reviews are already up right here; and JS, thanks for the wise words, back at ya.

Shout back at me at johnoakdalton@hotmail.com.

From the Leaves

Longtime reader DG writes:

John, God bless your blog. It is some really funny shit. I have it as an RSS feed (brilliant invention for blogs) so I always see your new posts. Without the RSS I don't think I'd catch it anywhere near as often.-DG.

The bad thing is, usually I'm trying to be serious!

The people at Scar Magazine scare the living shit out of me, but they liked SEX MACHINE. Check out their site here. NSFW, natch.

Give me a shout at johnoakdalton@hotmail.com.

Mailbag Redux

A Polonia Brothers fan writes in:

Hi John, I origionally was a fan of the film Blood Lake. Then I found this film called Canibal Campout with Jon McBride. I also have Woodechipper Massacre.

--Those are Jon's first two movies, done back in the 80s at the dawn of the home video era. I believe they were both shot on plain old SVHS. CANNIBAL is particularly disturbing. A lot of weird stuff went on when they shot it and one or more of the people have died since. WOODCHIPPER was intended to be a comedy and Jon has wanted to do a musical version of it in recent years. A few people in that went on to have careers in the business.

I really enjoyed the films and started doing research online.. this is where I found out about Polonia brothers. The 2 were somehow linked.

--True, SPLATTER FARM was a very notorious movie the Bros shot on SVHS when they were both still in high school. Jon heard about them and contacted them through their distributor (they had the same one at the time). The first one they did together was FEEDERS, which became one if the first SOV (shot on video) movies accepted by the Blockbuster chain. And they soldier on from there.

Yes My husband and really enjoyed Peter Rottentail and we tell all of our friends about it. I also enjoyed RazorTeeth. Splatter Farm is great, pretty twisted but I understand it now.

--Good then explain it to me!

I recently received Feeders 1 and 2 in the mail. I get them off ebay.

--Classics of their time!

Yes, i want to get Among Us.

--Thanks, I am very proud of that one. I had sold a few scripts to other producers up to that point but it was the first one that actually got made into a movie. I was kind of in a downturn right then and thinking about just quitting and reading comics with my spare time. I had a long heart to heart with Jon McBride around then. The Brothers had wanted to hire me to do a Bigfoot movie and Jon was trying to talk me out of it. After I spoke with him I decided just to write a comedic sendup of the entire b-movie industry. When I sent it to the Bros I assumed my career was over. But they liked it and saw a lot of their struggles in there. It has actually picked up a cult following and recently played on the Canadian Sci-Fi Channel, called Space. I actually flew out to Pennsylvania to help with the shoot and ended up playing the Bigfoot that attacks the van at the end. It probably turned out the closest to my original vision. And Jon McBride is great in it.

Do you or did you ever watch Mystery Science Theater 3000? That is great too!

--Hmm, are you saying there is a connection?

I will tell my sister and her boyfriend about you because they enjoy Polonia Brothers too…Peter Rotten Tail was so funny, I couldn't stop laughing at all. If fact my husband and I had to rewatch most of the movie because we were laughing and missed parts. Thanks for the website!

--We live to serve.

Give me a shout at johnoakdalton@hotmail.com.

From My Deathbed

I am rising from my sickbed to answer this email, from a distraught filmmaker:

John:
I received a very negative review...Given this review, I am wondering if possibly you shared the same view of (it) being both "unbearable" and "laughable". I would actually feel better if you tell me that is the case, because I need to know if my skill level is so bad, I need to never do another production, because I just don't get it. Perhaps, you were just being kind to a newbie on his first review. You were balanced and fair, and I appreciate that more than you know. If I SUCK, tell me..I would appreciate..because it's obvious, others think so. I need to learn to STOP doing whatever terrible technique I'm doing. You might be interested in knowing that based on your review, I went out and bought a new 3CCD Panasonic camera...and it is quite an improvement. Please, lay it out for me, will you.


I think some of your stuff is a bit rough but you are on the right track. All you can do is keep on learning and improving and honing your craft. I have learned to have a tough skin. Some of the reviews of the direct-to-DVD features I have worked on have advocated my death and so on. I would throw myself off a building if I thought it held any sway over me. Note that having something that exists at all to be rented or purchased or screened is farther down the path than most people get.

I hope this helps.

John

Feel free to email me at johnoakdalton@hotmail.com or check out my reviews at www.microcinemascene.com.

From the Mailbag

The best letter of 2006 to date, from a loyal reader...

Hey, John! While I was doing some sort of drudgery at work, I came up with a great idea. My idea involves you writing and directing the low budget movie of your dreams and somehow you cast me in a role and the film becomes a big smash! Critics and the public embrace it and you are the newest form of hottness! Soon you make more movies while my role generates some mild, cult-like buzz that gets me cast in other independent movies. Soon I'm asked to do some voiceover work for a pilot on Adult Swim. The pilot doesn't get picked up, but one of the suits likes my stuff and I do guest shots on other shows. Soon I land the fourth banana part on a substandard sitcom (ala According to Jim or Yes, Dear) that nobody really watches, but it surprisingly lasts four years. Of course, I invest my sitcom money wisely and I'm rich! Not Bill Gates rich, but Estelle Getty rich! And when people ask who do I owe it all to, I would choke up a bit and say "John Oak Dalton!". Then I had to go to lunch.

Give me a yell at johnoakdalton@hotmail.com.

The Roof is on Fire

I've always thought Micro-Film Magazine was pretty cool. Now I think it's even cooler.

Now, from the mailbag, and frequent reader Jason:

Do people make any money with these movies? Or are they about in the same boat as microcinema film makers, as in they do it more as a hobby and hope to either break even or just have people watch their stuff?I guess I need to become more involved in the scene, because at this point I am interested as hell in finding out how the biz works, but have no idea who to talk to. There are very few people that I know that ‘work’ it like a business. Most of them just have it as a very expensive and oft stressful hobby.

Jason, there are a lot of ways to approach this question. Of course people would like to make money. Cash money is good, though a good sandwich and some bikini photos of a b-movie starlet or two ain't bad either. Sometimes trade-outs can work to your advantage, trading your services in exchange for "future considerations" (as they say in baseball) on a project you might want to do; then everybody benefits from getting experience and gets projects out there.

There are enough distribution horror stories told by directors and director horror stories told by writers and writer horror stories told by everybody else to indicate that it can be hard for everybody to get a nice slice of the pie, if indeed there is ever any pie to slice up. When you look at how many failed projects are out there I think you have to acknowledge that regardless of how much money you made at some point it is important to have something that exists, and to perhaps use it to leverage into something else that you can do better with.

I believe that in the last five years I have worked on about a dozen screenplays that were in various stages of development and production, in Variety and the Hollywood Reporter and on and on, and today five of them exist where you can actually see them; and most would recognize that that's a pretty good batting percentage.

I have a day job, so I can't speak to how to make it a fulltime job exactly, and it seems like a lot of people I know doing it have other jobs on the side, writers who either own property or teach and directors who do corporate work and actors who work at Old Navy and so on. You do have to treat it like a business and not a hobby as hobbyists do not move forward in the business, professionals do. And no matter how big or small your project you should conduct yourself as a professional; there is no such thing as "just" a little b-movie or a "quickie" movie. Everything takes time and effort and work, even "quickies," and if you are going to be involved in them you should try to do the best you can and make them worth your time. If you try to phone it in, fans will smell it. I think it helps if you promise yourself that you will always do work that you're proud of; no matter how the final project turns out.

I wish you luck! If it's your dream, as it has been mine, all you can do is keep moving forward and hoping for the best, and waiting for that lightning strike.

The mailbox remains open at johnoakdalton@hotmail.com.