Wednesday, December 12, 2007

From Croatia With Love

Says the Goran Visnjic fan site, about John Oak Dalton's blog, "that one actually made me laugh out loud."

Hey, if you write enough b-movies, you start taking praise where you can get it.

Ever since I posted about my wife stumbling into Goran Visnjic and Maura Tierney in Chicago on a shopping day my site has been getting slammed by hits from Visnijic's fan site, as well as an ER fan site. Fortunately my wife never reads my blog, or she would find out the existence of such places, and she would be gone from me for good, watching THE DEEP END over and over.

She just didn't believe me when I told her I had read in the paper that Visnjic was trying to mend his broken heart--after being dumped by Antonio Banderas--in the arms of George Clooney, himself only recently dumped by Johnny Depp.

You know what would really help me? If Gorn Visnjic would play a gay guy in a movie. My wife's burning passion for James Purefoy, featured in HBO's ROME as Mark Anthony--or as my wife called him, Mark Hotony--cooled a bit when I told her he had also played costar Kevin McKidd's boyfriend in BEDROOMS AND HALLWAYS. When it was all burnished helmets and clashing swords that was one thing, but once the other idea was planted it couldn't quite be shook loose.

You know what is really a pretty good movie with Maura Tierney? SCOTLAND, PA.

Everybody has their "free passes" in their marriages, and my wife suspects mine is Maura Tierney. Even though her rather lengthy list is shared openly, long-married dudes know to keep theirs under wraps. I was a bit astounded at another couple we were having dinner with last Friday, who revealed theirs were Harvey Keitel and Jami Gertz. Harvey Keitel! And the husband's choice of Jami Gertz was not only a shade esoteric--I had to hit IMDB to make sure I knew who he was talking about--but potentially dangerous, because there is always a chance that Ms. Gertz might one day pass through Indiana in some sort of traveling dinner show or something, and your free pass has to be somebody completely unreachable by mortal people.

Husbands, if you want to be safe, mention women that are only accessible by time machine--like Linda Stirling in about 1944 (check out PERILS OF THE DARKEST JUNGLE), Suzanne Pleshette in about 1966 (although 1969's IF IT'S TUESDAY, THIS MUST BE BELGIUM got burned into my brain at a young age), Lynda Carter in about 1975 (scratch that, she still looks pretty good, and so does Jaclyn Smith, now that I'm googling names).

In other news, friends in California were facing wildfires, friends in Oklahoma are blacked out and under a sheet of ice, and my brother-in-law in Georgia was within a few short weeks of being COMPLETELY OUT OF WATER because of the draught. There are worse places to live than Indiana, methinks.

Give me a shout at johnoakdalton@hotmail.com.

7 comments:

AzizalSaqr said...

I must admit, we've been sharing your Mother's Goran encounter with our Bleu Profond Board Members, if only we all could be so lucky to find ourselves on such a wrong turn. As one who has had the pleasure of meeting him in person, I can vouch for him being every bit as nice in person as he appears on-screen. Thanks for sharing the story.

You'll find our reports on your blog in our Newsroom, in the thread, "Cute Goran reference."

http://gogoranvisnjicatbleuprofond2.com/messageboard/index.php

AzizalSaqr said...

Oops...that'll teach me to post in the wee hours of the morning, I meant to say your wife, not your mother...my apologies for the slip.

JD

John Oak Dalton said...

Not a problem--my mom was there, too. Though she would probably rather see John Travolta as my stepdad!

JOD

Ruby Redux said...

I feel so excluded. Am I one of the few who have not met those ER stars? The only celeb I've come to contact with in public was Dave Chapelle... He was cool, but he's not Goran... No Maura either.

Thanks for the story Mr. Dalton!

Anonymous said...

Your wife would do well to avoid the website you mistake for his official one. He doesn't have one because he finds such things pretentious. All that place is is a nest of gossips drooling over every lascivious detail they can get their hands on. I notice their leader didn't miss an opportunity to pimp the site: tacky, tacky, tacky.

There are plenty of places she can hang out where Goran is treated with respect.

Tim Shrum said...

John, I can't speak for all your friends out here in Oklahoma, but I just got power back today after eight days of not having any. Now we're faced with cleanup, looters, and the expense of rebuilding.

Dr. Squid said...

That lucky dog John Bowker got to work audience control on Jami Gertz's show STILL STANDING and got to eat lunch with her and stuff.

Linda Carter - why, she's a wonder!