Friday, December 03, 2004

Bang the Drum Slowly

Why nobody likes prognosticator "Johnny Ace" in my online fantasy football league:

MONDAY NIGHT MATCHUP: BISONS (5-4-1) VS. THUNDER (6-4): Two premiere teams in a really close matchup. But the Ace believes that Bison is the plural of Bison, not Bisons, so the Ace takes the Thunder.

INDIFFERENCE BOWL: PATS (4-4-1) VS. PUNT (5-4): A couple of dozy middle of the packers that the Ace doesn't have any feeling one way or the other about. Does he dare to eat a peach? The Patriots, in another moderate upset.

DOG OF THE WEEK: BISONS (7-4-1) VS. EXPRESS (2-9-1): The buffalo vs. the buffalo chip. Brazil by a brazillion.

DOG OF THE WEEK: WOODSMEN (4-5) VS. EXPRESS (2-6-1): How much wood could the Woodsmen chuck, if the Woodsmen could chuck wood? A lot, against the truly woeful Express.

UPSET SPECIAL: T&R (6-4) VS. WARRIORS (3-7): Last week the Ace had some Italian sausage and picked the Warriors for the first time all season--but guess what, the Ace had bratwurst last night and can't help but pick the Warriors again this week.

YET ANOTHER DOG OF THE WEEK: PATS (5-4) VS. EXPRESS (2-7-1): The Express are probably wondering when the Ace is going to eat something and pick them in an upset. It would be arsenic, and then the Ace would predict no more.

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