I know this goes against my loyal readers' view of me as a rugged Hemingwayesque scriptwriter, but sometimes when my wife is out of town I have trouble sleeping at night. As it was Saturday night at 1 a.m., and I was surfing the channels. There was some sort of paintball competition and a minor league arena football game out of Fort Wayne and a great wave of informercials.
Then I came across the opening minutes of a bigfoot movie on Sci-Fi Channel with Lance Hendrickson. I settled down to analyze it next to my own bigfoot movie, which has a special place in my heart because although it was not my first sale it was the first to the shelf. I rather dispassionately tried to analyze this new bigfoot movie's rickety plug-and-play construction and mapped out the beats.
I am allowed to do this while I am alone, but not in the company of my family, who get angry when I set the entire course of events in front of them and, like a b-movie Nostradamus, they come true one by one. Most recently my teenaged daughter flew into a rage when I singled out the killer in "Cry Wolf" in the very first shot she appeared in in the movie.
At any rate, I watched it unfold until "Ghost in the Shell: Stand Alone Complex" came on, which I enjoy but I promptly fell asleep watching. I think my mind was at ease, because I could tell myself that my bigfoot movie was better, with or without Lance Henrickson. The world is full of small consolations. My bigfoot movie was better, so I slept like a lamb.
Give me a shout at johnoakdalton@hotmail.com.
3 comments:
Yeah I tried watching it too and Among Us is much better. Lance doesn't even talk in half of the scenes, and what the heck was up with Bigfoot going after the chick in the tent? Just bizarre. And yes, GITS:SAC is surprisingly boring.
I think I have watched that entie movie, but it has been in chunks over several airings, and each time I am AMAZED at how LAME that thing is - so many missed opportunities for cool b-movie goodness and SO LITTLE of Bigfoot - and then when you do see him - it's totally WEIRD looking - like some fruity Hollywood hairdresser designed the look. And Lance can do great stuff, but it felt like he and everyone else int he movie was just going through a haze. My son has a saying about many movies we'll watch if a kissing scene comes on: "Too much kissy kissy!" I havfe a new phrase for movies like this: TOO MUCH TALKY TALKY and not enough MONSTER MONSTER!!!! At least the talk in AMOUNG US (which I got an extra copy of to give to my friend as a birthday present) is INTERESTING!
Thanks for the kind words, guys!!!
John
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