Monday, April 19, 2004

Raspberry Beret

I finished up my rewrite of Christopher Sharpe's SEX MACHINE about a month ago and have been lying low since then, trying to deal with the fire raining down from the heavens that has been my day-to-day life lately. But I was just approached about a potential writing job today, an unusual project (to say the least), so I will post all the news here if it becomes a sure thing. If anything ever is a sure thing.

I enjoyed HELLBOY well enough this weekend, a very faithful adaptation of the comic, although it seemed mostly sound and fury and didn't stick in my mind for even a split second after. More compelling were the bizarre trailers--one a perv's delight, where a 13-year-old girl suddenly becomes the legal Jennifer Gardner; one a Wayans Brothers comedy where they go undercover as white girls (?!); and another called SOUL PLANE which has Snoop Dogg flying some sort of low-riding jet around. Not comedy skits on SNL, but actual movies.

Meanwhile, here's more of the pot calling the kettle black, from my b-fantasy epic RING OF THE SORCERESS:

Desmond reads from a scroll of parchment, as a burly black-hooded EXECUTIONER shouldering a heavy two-bladed axe looms menacingly in the background.
Sir Randall Fortinbras, Lord of Castle Andronicus and former member of the Council of Seven, for treasonous actions against the good Queen Esme of House Hangfyr, you have been sentenced to death by decapitation. Proceed with the sentence.
FORTINBRAS shouts and protests as his head is pushed onto the already gore-spattered block. In a moment, a wet THWACK silences his protests.
A line of well-dressed older men are lined up, under heavy guard, and looking on with dismay.
Sir Alonzo Pollux, High Commander of Seawatch and former member of the Council of Seven...
Desmond continues on as a battered and bloodied Boris limps up and looks on the proceedings with amazement. Another bloody THWACK causes him to grab the elbow of a regal but dejected older man at the end of the line. The older man looks at Boris with dread.
Sir Boris? Surely not you too!
Good Sir Malvolio, can this truly be happening? I see before me the Queen's best minds being put to steel!
Tis true. The Council of Seven is no more.
I know better than to call this group traitors! Most every man here served Queen Hannah, Esme's mother, with honor and loyalty, and have continued to this day!
Queen Esme has a new council. It is made up of the men from beyond the sea.
Boris stops short.
This sea of stars?
Beyond the sea, beyond any map. And when voices were raised questioning this decision, they were quelled by the blade.
Desmond, now more puffed up since his first encounter with Boris outside the Queen's chambers, shoulders his way between the pair.
This is not your concern, Sir Boris. This is the work of the Queen.
I believed that I did the work of the Queen.
Mayhaps that has changed. Stand aside.
Boris gives the little man a long cool look, then takes a half-step back, watching through narrowed eyes. The aide goes back to the front of the line and begins reading more charges.
Malvolio takes a furtive glance over his shoulder.
You must be the Council's voice, Sir Boris.
How can that be?
You are greatly favored by the Queen. You were the youngest soldier ever raised to the post of Captain of the Silent Guard. Your father Sir Nicholai served the Guard with honor before you.
Malvolio is rudely jerked away.
(calls out)
Speak for us, Boris! For the Kingdom!
The aide unrolls another parchment.
Sir Malvolio Timon, Lord of Longshadow Wood and former member of the Council of Seven,for treasonous actions against the good Queen Esme of House Hangfyr, you have been sentenced to death by decapitation. Proceed with the sentence....
As the aide drones on, Boris turns his head. At the ruthless SMACK of the headsman's axe, Boris turns his back in disgust and limps away.

Give me a shout at

No comments: