Carnivores

So Saturday night I went to a dinner party where they were serving an "Atkins Diet" meal. This is the "meat diet," for lack of a better term. This seems crazy to me. It reminds me of that scene in Woody Allen's SLEEPER where they find out in the future that hot fudge is good for you. Good meal, though. I like a good BBQ, but even I'm not sure I could eat all that meat all the time.

Speaking of carnivores, here's more from AMONG US. This is the scene where they find the cairn, which we couldn't build up quite as high as what I imagined here. I'm not sure I know exactly what I was thinking. Low angles saved the day.

CUT TO:
EXT. WOODS (RIVER) -- LATER
The trio are making their way downriver, looking for a place to cross.
JENNIFER
I was down here the day before yesterday...I know I saw a footbridge.
WAYNE
There's a highway bridge a few miles away...we can take the car.
JENNIFER
It'll take too long. I want to show you this before nightfall.
CUT TO:
EXT. WOODS (BRIDGE) -- LATER
Wayne, laden down with equipment, is trailing Billy and Jennifer as they race across the river.
CUT TO:
EXT. WOODS (RIVER) -- LATER
The threesome make their way more carefully along the opposite bank. Jennifer spies back across the river.
JENNIFER
There's the cabin...it shouldn't be too much farther now.
Suddenly Billy stops short.
BILLY
Jennifer...we're there.
The camera spins to show a very large pyramid of rocks stacked up, four feet high or more.
Immediately Wayne is snapping pictures.
JENNIFER
What's that look like to you?
WAYNE
It's a cairn. They've been found all over the world for centuries. They are used for burial sites, or to mark someplace...or something.
(beat)
They are not uncommon in bigfoot sightings.
Billy immediately reaches for a rock, to start bringing the structure down. Wayne, shocked, stays his hand.
WAYNE (CONT'D)
What are you doing, Billy?
BILLY
Right now, that's just a pile of rock. Until we find out what's at the bottom.
WAYNE
I don't think you should do that.
BILLY
Why not?
WAYNE
I just don't think you should touch it, that's all.
Jennifer hugs herself uneasily.
JENNIFER
Billy, there's probably nothing but a couple of used condoms and an empty beer can under all of that anyway.
Now Billy seems surprised.
BILLY
And there could be a baby bigfoot skeleton under there.
(beat)
What's with you two all of a sudden? Everything about bigfoot sightings is always like, "I was shooting some footage when my tape broke," or "I took some pictures of it but they didn't come out," or "The rain washed the tracks away." I mean, here it is, folks.
Wayne looks miffed.
WAYNE
I took pictures at my nephew's birthday party two weeks ago, and the whole roll didn't come out. Nobody thought that was a government cover-up or conspiracy.
BILLY
Just tell me one thing, Wayne. How many times have people reported getting attacked by a bigfoot? Confirmed attacks?
WAYNE
Confirmed, none. The validity of every claim has been in question. But that doesn't mean--
BILLY
Oh, just quit lecturing for five minutes, Wayne.
Billy starts methodically taking down the cairn, while Wayne and Jennifer look on uncomfortably. The camera wanders away from the scene.
DISSOLVE TO:
EXT. WOODS (RIVER) -- LATER
Soon Billy is done, with nothing to show for it but a patch of dirt. He looks tired and deflated. Wayne is carefully considering a rounded stone. Billy sees his interest and looks flushed.
BILLY
(barks)
Jesus Christ, it's only a rock!
Wayne, startled, drops the stone like the proverbial hot rock. Instantly Billy deflates again.
BILLY (CONT'D)
Shit, I'm sorry, Wayne.
Wayne MUMBLES something and starts to clean up his gear. Jennifer turns away from Billy.
The only sound is the wind in the trees.
DISSOLVE TO:

Give me a yell at johnoakdalton@hotmail.com.

Instant Karma

So I've heard "What's Going On?" on the radio four times in the last few days; as well as that song "Night Shift" which mentions Marvin Gaye. Is it Marvin Gaye's birthday, is it just in heavy rotation, or is it some sort of portent? I am a believer in portents; whether they signal something about to happen or cue something in your mind that you were thinking about making a connection to anyway is up for debate. Now I just need to figure what "What's Going On?" or Marvin Gaye or 70s soul exactly means to me right now.

While I sort all of that out, here's more from AMONG US:

CUT TO:
EXT. WOODS -- AFTERNOON
Billy is resolutely pacing across the trails.
BILLY
I'm still watching the woods, and waiting...Had I wished for something different at this point, well yeah. I thought we were on the cusp of something...but I always think that.
He walks and thinks.
BILLY (CONT'D)
Like with, you know, Jennifer. Back when I was making "Hunger of Bigfoot," I thought I was on the fast track. I was going to go out to L.A., get some big-time directing jobs...like a "Friday the 13th" or a Freddie movie. Then maybe call her up and say, hey. You know...after I made it. When I was somebody.
(beat)
Yeah, well.
He finally sits on a log.
BILLY (CONT'D)
Funny thing is, Jennifer stayed back in her hometown and did it for herself. Has a nice little business. They've got a lot of heavy books in there. So, you know, you wonder.
Billy looks at the sky, then finally back at the camera.
BILLY (CONT'D)
You're going to run a magnet over that part, right, Ray?
CUT TO:
EXT. WOODS (RIVER) -- AFTERNOON
Jennifer dangles her feet in the current.
JENNIFER
This has been an...interesting outing, but I'm going to have to get back to the store here in the next few days. I can't say I'm sorry for the experience, though.
Jennifer looks at her toes in the water.
JENNIFER (CONT'D)
It's funny to say that I'm happy to have done something with Billy again. But he has a way of drawing you into his projects. His optimism. If you really look at it, he's been spinning straw into gold for years. You might not be a fan of all his projects, but...you have to admire what he's done. He's a dreamer. And sometimes I wonder if there are really that many left in the world.
Jennifer looks off across the water. Then she stops short and squints.
JENNIFER (CONT'D)
Hey Ray...was that over there yesterday?
CUT TO:

Lots of Plans

I've got a busy weekend; I'm going to go see the play PROOF tonight here at Ball State University, going to a dinner party tomorrow, and Sunday watch my niece get christianed. I think I am there to serve as a horrible warning.

Also need to write a chunk of PETER ROTTENTAIL. I'm getting behind.

Today's chunk of AMONG US includes some scenes I wrote right before I went to the shoot in Pennsylvania, to flesh out the characters at my wife's suggestion. I really liked these and thought the talent did a good job, considering they read them on-set and did them right away (although as usual Jon McBride had to use crib sheets).


DISSOLVE TO:
INT. CABIN (KITCHEN) -- DAY
Wayne is sitting at the table drinking coffee.
WAYNE
I believe this is day five...and if I were to give a status report, I would say...we have had no progress since the claw marks on the first day. And, since we are here at an isolated cabin, the down time can be the worst part. Television reception is poor, Internet access nonexistent...there is a closet full of games, but many are broken or incomplete...for instance, the Scrabble board is missing two Gs. There are puzzles as well, but every one I have put together has been missing just one piece.
(beat)
Just one piece of the puzzle...that's always it in the end, isn't it?
CUT TO:
INT. CABIN -- LATER
Billy, Jennifer, and Wayne are playing cards.
BILLY
So did you ever watch any scary movies as a kid?
JENNIFER
Oh, sure.
BILLY
What was the first, like, scary movie memory you have?
Jennifer keeps playing, thinking for a moment.
JENNIFER
Probably "Escape to Witch Mountain."
Billy looks incredulous.
BILLY
What? That's like a Disney movie!
JENNIFER
You know, it's just those kids getting chased all around, and their powers, and all that.
BILLY
I'm talking about a real scary movie! Stuff like "Don't Look in the Basement" or "Abby" or something like that. Hard-core drive-in shit that your parents took you to by mistake! Bail me out here, Wayne.
Wayne stops and thinks.
WAYNE
What was that movie where the guy from "Herbie the Love Bug" turns invisible?
JENNIFER
Oh, what was that?
Billy almost doesn't want to say.
BILLY
"Mister Superinvisible."
WAYNE
That had some startling things.
BILLY
Scary here, Wayne. "Texas Chainsaw Massacre." "Suspiria." Jesus Christ, Wayne.
Wayne frets.
WAYNE
Probably "Escape to Witch Mountain" then.
BILLY
This is what's wrong with the industry.
Billy gets up and starts restlessly walking back and forth.
JENNIFER
Billy, has it ever occurred to you that maybe your parents shouldn't have let you watch that shit when you were just a kid?
BILLY
They didn't. That was me acting out. Military brat.
Jennifer throws up her hands.
JENNIFER
Sounds like something you need to tell your therapist.
BILLY
I did. Originally I started going to one out in L.A. to network, because Betty Ford was too expensive.
Billy stands, thinking. The silence stretches.
WAYNE
Does anyone want to play "Go Fish?"
Billy heads out. After a moment, Jennifer follows.
CUT TO:
EXT. CABIN -- MOMENTS LATER
Billy is looking off into the woods.
BILLY
When I was a kid we had all of these books around the house, religious books. Crap stuff, about how Halloween is bad and shit like that. Did you ever read those things?
JENNIFER
Maybe in Sunday school.
BILLY
We didn't have any normal books, just this shit. There were stories like, you know, a greedy kid who always took the biggest piece of pie, then his mother starved to death. Like there was nothing to eat but pie. Or a kid who lied too much and ended up in hell. For lying. I mean, and my movies are fucked up?
JENNIFER
What do your folks think about all this going on now?
BILLY
Well, lucky for them they're dead. Mom and "the colonel" were killed in a car wreck back in Mankato.
JENNIFER
My dad was killed in VietNam. My mom died of cancer a couple of years ago.
BILLY
I guess we're both alone.
JENNIFER
I guess so.
Billy looks for a long moment at Jennifer, then walks away.

Give me a yell at johnoakdalton@hotmail.com.

Among Us Memories

I heard from Mark Polonia last night that there's probably one more weekend of shooting on RAZORTEETH before packing it in to finish next spring, when the warm weather returns. I'll need to get going on PETER ROTTENTAIL for them to start on in a few weeks.

This part of AMONG US is one of my favorites in the movie. It's when I realized on the set that the movie was going to turn out pretty well. I looked through the viewfinder and the shot looked great, and the acting was really good.

It was also the scene where they had to use a copy of the script for kindling to get the roaring fire started, but you have to take the bad with the good in life.

DISSOLVE TO:
EXT. CABIN -- NIGHT
Wayne and Jennifer are sitting by a roaring fire outside. Billy drags another branch out of the forest and throws it on the fire. He stands and looks at it.
BILLY
So there are these two teenagers making out at Lover's Lane, and they hadn't been listening to the radio to hear the story about the escaped lunatic...
JENNIFER
Don't start that!
BILLY
Really, it's true. It happened to my cousin's best friend's brother.
JENNIFER
I think everybody has enough scary things on their minds right now.
Billy crouches down next to Wayne and pokes at the fire.
Jennifer turns to Wayne.
JENNIFER (CONT'D)
Have you ever seen one yourself, Wayne?
Wayne rolls up his sleeve and shows Jennifer his arm.
WAYNE
See that row of teeth marks?
(beat)
Florida Skunk Ape. And he smashed my camera on top of that. No proof of what did it, and my insurance never paid.
JENNIFER
Skunk ape?
Wayne nods sagely.
WAYNE
Some say he is the bigfoot's angry, smelly cousin.
JENNIFER
That's close enough then, I'd say.
WAYNE
I've also seen the real Minnesota Iceman. The one they keep in the same hangar in Indiana where the remains of the Groom Lake UFO crash are also stored.
(beat)
What about your story?
Jennifer shudders involuntarily, then smiles faintly.
JENNIFER
What, didn't you see "Hunger of Bigfoot?"
WAYNE
I mean your real story.
Jennifer composes herself.
JENNIFER
I was at a writer's retreat. A small house where artists could pay to stay a day or a week at a stretch.
(beat)
I thought I would be a poet at the time.
BILLY
And she was good, too.
JENNIFER
Don't remind me that you came along later.
(beat, thinking)
It was very late...maybe three or four a.m. I was pacing through the house, and I was the only guest awake. I had insomnia a lot then. I tried everything...sometimes a glass of wine, warm milk, a hot shower, just walking it out. I was in the kitchen, thinking I might warm a little something up. I don't know if I saw movement out of the corner of my eye, or what, but I was drawn to the kitchen window. I thought....I thought I might see a raccoon.
Jennifer pokes at the fire.
JENNIFER (CONT'D)
Instead, there was this massive, hairy face looking back at me. Not an ape face, like in Billy's movies. Not exactly what you would call a caveman face either. I wish I could explain the expression. I guess I would say curious. But the eyes...they didn't reflect anything human.
They all think on this for a moment.
WAYNE
How long did you stare at each other?
JENNIFER
A second...the rest of the night...I wish I knew. Then it was gone.
Billy broods. Wayne turns to him.
WAYNE
What about you, Billy?
BILLY
What about me?
WAYNE
Your sighting.
Billy just shakes his head.
BILLY
I don't want to talk about it.
Jennifer looks open-mouthed.
JENNIFER
Oh no you don't.
But Billy just gets up and walks away from the fire.
Wayne shoots a sidelong glance at Jennifer, and in a moment she is up and following him.
CUT TO:
EXT. WOODS -- MOMENTS LATER
Away from the campfire, with a glow at their backs and the blue shadows of the night in front of them, Jennifer confronts Billy by grabbing his shirt and spinning him around.
JENNIFER
Not this time, Billy. Last time it was all me giving and you taking. And I told you I wouldn't go through that again.
After a long moment of soul-searching, Billy nods his head.
BILLY
Did you bring a flashlight?
DISSOLVE TO:
EXT. WOODS (RIVER) -- LATER
We see Jennifer's flashlight picking out a thread of white light through the trees. Soon the pair are at the river. They watch the moon play tricks on the water.
Billy and Jennifer stand quietly for a moment.
BILLY
I was thinking about the movie...you know, just walking along the water and mapping it all out in my head.
Billy ruminates, then points.
BILLY (CONT'D)
And then I saw him standing in the water over there, bigger than God.
(beat)
He just looked at me. That's all. But I could smell him...I could feel his heat. People talk about, you know, guys in suits. When he moved, he wasn't like any guy in a suit. Too fast, too fluid...it was alien. Completely alien. It's like, you know, if you pass a stray cat in an alley or something. You both exist on earth and everything, but it's two different worlds. And that creature cared about as much for me as I would for that stray cat. And I've...I've never felt that way before. That the world was so big and that my part...
Billy just trails off. After a while Jennifer takes his hand and squeezes it.


Shout-outs welcome at johnoakdalton@hotmail.com.

Where Have All The Good Times Gone

So busy yesterday I didn't even realize I hadn't blogged until late in the evening.

Getting slammed at work, and trying to work on PETER ROTTENTAIL for the Polonia Brothers at night. A full plate.

I heard that DEAD LAKE, my rewrite of John Polonia's script for director Bob Dennis (SAVAGE VOWS) is finally going before the lens in the next week or so. It's amazing how many things are underway that I've written, when this time last year I was wondering whether to give up and just read comics all weekend.

There may be a few people yet who wish I had.

Here's more AMONG US:

CUT TO:
INT. CABIN -- MOMENTS LATER
Wayne unlocks the door and ushers Jennifer in. She looks around, her overnight bag swinging.
JENNIFER
So would you say this is more "Counselor's Cabin at Crystal Lake" or "Leatherface's Living Room?"
Wayne takes in his surroundings with a shrug and starts setting his equipment down.
JENNIFER (CONT'D)
So what's your cut in this, Wayne?
WAYNE
The spirit of scientific inquiry.
Jennifer looks at him expectantly.
WAYNE (CONT'D)
I'm taking a back end of the final film.
JENNIFER
I read somewhere that the back end just means you see the back end of the guy walking away with your money.
Wayne shrugs.
WAYNE
Billy's a persuasive person.
Jennifer nods.
WAYNE (CONT'D)
What about you, Ms. Dempsey?
JENNIFER
I want to make sure this project gets done right.
Wayne looks at her expectantly.
JENNIFER (CONT'D)
Billy is--ah--a persuasive person.
Wayne nods in agreement.
DISSOLVE TO:
EXT. CABIN -- AFTERNOON
Billy looks expectantly into the camera.
BILLY
Ray, are we ready?
(beat)
Okay. This is our first day at the site, we are unpacked and ready to go, and doing just a brief recon of the area before nightfall.
Billy sees Wayne and Jennifer receding into the distance, down an ill-used trail.
BILLY (CONT'D)
Let's go.
He hurries to catch up.
CUT TO:
EXT. WOODS (RIVER) -- AFTERNOON
Feature scenes of nature: trees, sky, waving grass, birds, flowers...and the trio of explorers taking it all in. Billy is wearing a backpack, Wayne is slung with still cameras, and Jennifer is in their wake.
Jennifer stops to take in the view.
JENNIFER
It's beautiful out here.
BILLY
The cabin butts right up against government land. This is all state forest through here.
The threesome make their way down to the water's edge, where the sunset sparkles on the current. They pick their way through rocks until they are standing on the shore looking across.
WAYNE
Several of the recent sightings have been within fifteen miles of here.
JENNIFER
Water, nice land...I guess if I was going to build "Gorilla City" I would build it right over there.
BILLY
Like in "Planet of the Apes?"
JENNIFER
(absently)
No, that's "Ape City." Gorilla City is where Gorilla Grodd rules. From the comic book? He's one of the Flash's villains.
Wayne glances at Jennifer with a thunderstruck look. Jennifer shrugs.
JENNIFER (CONT'D)
My bookstore started carrying graphic novels and comics a few years ago. You gotta keep up.
Wayne puts a warning hand on his shoulder.
BILLY
Easy there, turbo.
(to Jennifer)
If you tell him you also like John Denver and "Dungeons and Dragons" you may hear a marriage proposal.
Flushed, Wayne shrugs Billy off.
JENNIFER
What do you think has caused this all of a sudden, Wayne?
Wayne adjusts his glasses and is back in his own element.
WAYNE
I'm not sure you could say it is all of a sudden. There are clusters of sightings at any given time all across the country, and have been for decades. Some just draw more attention than others.
BILLY
People will know about this one.
Billy studies the sky, lost in thought, while something catches Wayne's eye and he scoots out of frame. A moment later a bright FLASH startles Billy nearly out of his skin.
BILLY (CONT'D)
Jesus Christ, Wayne, what the...
He sees that Wayne is taking a photo of a tree trunk. Billy and Jennifer hurry over.
Revealed are several deep, widely-spaced furrows gouged out of the trunk.
Tentatively, Jennifer spreads her fingers out and presses her palm against the tree. The gouges are much farther spaced out than her hand.
JENNIFER
Do you think somebody could have just stood here with a hunting knife and...
She trails off, looking at the mark.
BILLY
What do you think it means, Wayne?
Wayne takes photos intently.
WAYNE
This could be some sort of signal or marker. Or it could be something sharpening its claws. We have no way of knowing at this point.
Wayne takes a break and looks at the others.
WAYNE (CONT'D)
It could even be a bear.
Billy looks at the markings, lost in thought.
BILLY
That would be one badass bear.

Con Weekend

I went to the Twisted Nightmare Con Saturday, in beautiful downtown Akron, Ohio.

It was uncanny meeting so many people I knew from the Internet there: Jason Santo, Sheri Carter, Wayne Harold, Bill Shotten, Eric Thornett, Jasi Lanier, Eric Spudic, Jeff Graham, and others, plus seeing a few I had met before, including JR Bookwalter and Mark Burchett. Some were exactly like I thought, a few were nothing like I expected: taller, shorter, older, younger, thinner, fatter, weirder, saner.

I have been to many Cons, including comic book Cons and role-playing Cons, and there is always some weird proportion of nerds to hot girls that does not exist anywhere else in nature. "American Nerd" Toby Radloff wasn't the nerdiest person at the Con, nor the nerdiest person I know, by some distance.


MEMORABLE MOMENTS:

Filmmaker Jason Santo telling me about how he spent Friday night getting business tips from Erin (BUCK ROGERS) Gray.

TOWNIES director Wayne Harold telling actor Jeff Dylan Graham that he had the "perfect" part for him in his next movie, involving an attempted rape at a party, then Jeff spanking off into a bed full of coats, and Jeff Graham asking "Why do people always want me to play rapists?"

Getting to chat with DAWN OF THE DEAD's Ken Foree, and talking about our mutual pal Ivan Rogers.

Getting to chat with Jeff Dylan Graham, and talking about how we both slept on the same couch at Mark Polonia's house.


BIGGEST HIGH:

Getting to meet nice new people, including most of the aforementioned as well as Jason Paul Collum and Ken Foree.


BIGGEST LOWS:

From Jason Santo, meeting me for the first time, "You're shorter than I thought!"

Two pierced, tattooed guys in the bathroom: "So are they having any good screenings?" "Microcinema stuff." "Oh, so nothing good."

Telling people, "I'm from Indiana," or "I just wrote the next Polonia Brothers movie," and having certain people look back at me like I just said "I have an inoperable brain tumor."


MY SWAG:

BAD MOVIE POLICE 1 and 2 from JR Bookwalter at Tempe; Jason Collum's JULIA WEPT; Jason Santo's MINDSCAPE PICTURES PRESENTS #1; and a kooky-looking robot movie called PROJECT: VALKYRIE (I was the only person they had sold one to at that point).

Overall it was a fun day, and worth the long drive to meet a lot of people I would like to work with some day.

Back to AMONG US tomorrow.

Give me a yell at johnoakdalton@hotmail.com

Back in the Saddle

I have been sick since the middle of the night Wednesday night; slept all day yesterday and never blogged. Came back to work to a handful of phone messages and 30+ emails. Have been trying to leave early to stitch up for the trip to Akron, and the "Twisted Nightmare" Con, tomorrow. So a short entry today, but for all those eagerly awaiting the next pages from AMONG US, here they are.

And I hope to weigh in on "Twisted Nightmare" on Monday, if I get there and back in one piece.

Yell at me at johnoakdalton@hotmail.com.



DISSOLVE TO:
EXT. HIGHWAY -- DAY
Scenic countryside goes by outside of Billy's SUV's passenger-side window. Soon the camera pans to show what is going on inside: Billy driving, his cameraman Ray in the passenger seat, with Wayne and Jennifer squeezed into the back. Jennifer addresses the camera.
JENNIFER
Well, we are on our way to the site of the major motion picture "Cornhole Cabin 12."
BILLY
Would have been. I dropped out of the project.
JENNIFER
(now more serious)
Really? What happened?
BILLY
I mean, all this happened. I'm doing this now.
Jennifer nods.
JENNIFER
Well, that's cool.
BILLY
I mean, I could have used the money for start-up costs on this project. But like I said, it's hard to join a franchise so late in the game. A lot of the characterization is already fixed.
JENNIFER
So they got another guy, huh?
BILLY
And another cabin.
JENNIFER
So it's like they say. If you build it...Someone will get cornholed in it.
Billy's teeth are on edge.
BILLY
Well, it was nice of the guy to go ahead and loan us the cabin anyway. One problem though. He was expecting a blow job. It's kind of a standard porno thing. Now Wayne said he would help out in a pinch, but...
Jennifer kicks the back of his chair.
BILLY (CONT'D)
What about just a hand job then?
(beat)
Anybody?
Wayne looks uneasy.
WAYNE
Could one of you guys please turn on the radio?
DISSOLVE TO:
EXT. RURAL ROAD -- DAY
Billy is irritated, changing a flat, while Jennifer and Wayne look on.
JENNIFER
If this was a novel, it might be called "foreshadowing."
BILLY
I don't read books.
JENNIFER
You should try it sometime.
BILLY
If God wanted people to read books, he wouldn't have invented movies.
Jennifer looks off into the trees by the side of the road. Wayne observes her.
JENNIFER
Those woods seem quiet...too quiet. As if something's watching.
Wayne seems to stagger, as if ill. Jennifer turns to him.
JENNIFER (CONT'D)
That's what they always say in the movies, right?
(beat)
You okay, Wayne?
WAYNE
Just a little carsick, that's all.
JENNIFER
Drink some water, that'll make you feel better.
BILLY (O.S.)
Don't drink anything, we aren't stopping again!
Jennifer rolls her eyes as Wayne blanches.
DISSOLVE TO:
EXT. CABIN -- AFTERNOON
Billy drives up in his SUV and parks. He gets out and looks around, scanning the treeline. Soon Wayne and Jennifer join him.
Billy drives up in his SUV and parks. He gets out and looks around, scanning the treeline. Soon Wayne and Jennifer join him.
BILLY
Okay, well, let's get the gear.
Jennifer and Wayne grab their bags and start heading for the cabin, checking out their surroundings.
Feature Billy at the back hatch of the SUV, carefully going through his video equipment. He addresses the camera.
BILLY (CONT'D)
This is my favorite part. Setting up the shoot. When I was a kid, I took a Cap'n Crunch box and a couple of toilet paper tubes and made my own film camera. The other kids thought it was some kind of machine gun. But I knew. I was running around, when everyone was playing cops and robbers, I was playing Alfred Hitchcock. When it was cowboys and Indians, I was John Ford. Not that I exactly knew who those guys were, it was more, you know, in spirit.

Con'd

I'm thinking about going to a Horror Con in Akron, Ohio Saturday, and trying to network. It's hard to believe today, but in a few weeks I hope to be done with the two Polonia Brothers rewrites and will need to start thinking about doing something else. Maybe I can get some "face time" with some people and make a connection. It's all about the connections. I hope to spend some time at the Mindscape Pictures booth, where my pal Jason Santo will be selling his VHS and DVDs. He's the talented guy behind microcinemascene.com, a great place to visit if you haven't been (the link is to the right). If you can't get enough of my writing here, zip on over there and check out some of my reviews and interviews.

I'm going to take a break from AMONG US today and include a short article I wrote after visiting the "Flashback Con" in Chicago last summer.


SUMMER 2002:

With Apologies to Hunter S. Thompson...

I was 60 minutes outside Chicago when the Excedrin kicked in.
In the car seat beside me was a half-eaten roll of Tums, some
mint gum shaped like a dog's tooth, a printed sheet from MapQuest,
a bottle of warm chocolate milk, one Krispy Kreme with sprinkles,
and my Palm Pilot. My wallet held fifty bucks and a two-for-one
Blockbuster coupon. On the CD player Johnny Cash was singing live
from Folsom Prison and outside the window a horn was blaring and a
middle finger was sailing past. Five hours later I would be kicked
out of the Marriott for not having a wrist badge, even though honestly
I hadn't seen any place to pay money, nor had anyone stopped me, when I
first walked in. Two hours after that my car would leave me by the side of
the road in rural Indiana with a dead starter, but luckily three
enterprising young hill-jumpers would come along and push-start my
car for a small fee. But that would all be in the far future, and in
the now I see "Travesty" standing outside the Marriott,
an inposing but friendly dude whom I had previously known only as a
disembodied head on a web message board, so I know I am in the right place.

I go straight to the dealer room and walk past a sea of video sellers,
pushing Mexican wrestling, Hong Kong action, Italian sandal epics,
backyard horror, and all the other flotsam and jetsam of my misspent
youth. There were so many bootlegs floating around that everybody
was looking over their shoulders waiting for the click of the FBI's
steel-toed boots.

The Tempe table was doing a solid stream of business. Better looking
in real life than in the movies (female winner): Tanya Dempsey.
Better looking in real life than in the movies (male winner): J.R.
Bookwalter, based on his "Lance Randas" cameo in "Shandra the Jungle
Girl." All the people at Tempe seemed high-energy, driven, talented.
Jeff Sisson was very friendly and helpful, despite the fact that he
looks like someone you don't want to see coming towards you in a mosh
pit. Don Adams and Harry Picardi brought a low-riding Cheesehead
posse that would have put P. Diddy to shame (the Milwaukee version of
J. Lo must have stayed back at the crib). Right across the aisle,
Mark Burchett and I struck up a long conversation, not the least of
which concerned our shared misery over the Cincinnati Reds. I wanted
to buy his cool-looking "Deadly Dreamgirls" DVD but then remembered
how it felt the last time my wife made me sleep on the couch.

Later I went to a Tempe Q&A session in which enough good advice was
dispensed to give me the will to go on in this volatile industry. I
wanted to go back and buy some videos, but got the bum's rush from
security instead. Just as well, as I needed the money to pay for some
backwoods auto advice a short time later. Everything happens for a
reason.

There's my ten cents; my two cents are free.

--John

Why I should start wearing a foil-lined helmet: I just read WILDGUARD, a comic about a group of superheroes in a reality-styled television program. Not unlike CAPES, my superhero "reality series" I was going to do with artist Tom Cherry a while back. Not only is the CAPES title about to be used also, but my version featured "Retro Girl," a character name now used in Brian Michael Bendis' POWERS. You know what they say: first out of the gate's a winner.

Here's more AMONG US, hopefully coming out before somebody else's Bigfoot movie:

CUT TO:
EXT. WOODS -- DAY
ERIK, in a backwards baseball cap and t-shirt, addresses the camera.
ERIK
I mean, yeah, we had smoked a bowl. And split a twelve-pack or so. But that don't mean that shit wasn't real.
Erik points back into the trees.
ERIK (CONT'D)
We first heard it back in there. Howling and shit. First I thought it was a bear, and we were like, cool, how often do you get to see a bear? I mean, bears around here have got to be pretty chilled out, being around humans and eating trash and shit, right? I mean, this ain't Alaska. So we thought we'd get up after that mother. I did say we were stoned, right?
CUT TO:
EXT. WOODS -- CONTINUOUS
Feature shaky camcorder-style footage as Erik races through the woods, other DUDES alongside, shouting back and forth.
The camera, with its white-hot little round light, plays over the trees. Erik's homie TODD is seen briefly, and is gone.
TODD (O.S.)
Yo dude! Over here!
The camera whips around.
ERIK (V.O.)
Hold up, G, I'm too wasted to be running no marathon, yo!
Suddenly Erik lets out a YELL and goes down in a heap, dirt and grass filling the lens. Erik bursts out LAUGHING.
TODD (O.S.)
Watch out, dude!
The camera snaps up, and suddenly ERIK YELLS as a flash of fur flashes past the scream.
ERIK
WHAT THE FUCK WAS THAT?!
Suddenly Erik is up and running, the camera bouncing and racing along as he BABBLES.
ERIK (CONT'D)
Dude, don't leave me here! What the--Jesus Christ! What the fuck! Dude!
The camera crashes to SNOW.
CUT TO:
INT. PRODUCTION HOUSE (EDIT BAY) -- DAY
Billy sits at an edit bay, working intently, as Wayne looks on with narrowed eyes and crossed arms. Billy is using the edit controller to spin back Erik's footage to the point where the flash of fur is caught on tape. He slows it down until it inches by frame by frame.
BILLY
What do you think?
WAYNE
Did you plot these reports on the maps?
BILLY
Maps? Do I look like PBS to you?
WAYNE
I'm curious to know how these triangulate with the cabin.
BILLY
For right now, just tell me what you think.
WAYNE
Your interviewees seemed reluctant to tell their stories, for the most part. That's a good sign. They haven't been seeking media attention. The Wellsboro videotaped sighting is the one for concern. But note that the other parties didn't want to come forward. And the ratio of skill and planning needed to pull off that hoax is in direct inverse to the amount of brainpower exhibited by your subject.
BILLY
So it's not an ape suit, huh?
WAYNE
What do you think?
Billy leans forward. Before he can say anything, the phone RINGS. He picks it up.
BILLY
Yeah?
(beat)
She is?
CUT TO:
INT. PRODUCTION HOUSE (HALLWAY) -- LATER
Jennifer strides purposefully down the hallway, looking for Billy. He pokes his head out of the edit suite. She stops short.
BILLY
Hi.
JENNIFER
Hey.
BILLY
If I thought you were going to throw another book at me, I wouldn't have told them to let you back here. But they make TV here--books are the enemy, so we don't allow any to be left lying around.
Jennifer is stone-faced at Billy's humor.
BILLY (CONT'D)
You want coffee, or...?
JENNIFER
Look, about yesterday.
Billy leans against the doorframe, expectantly.
JENNIFER (CONT'D)
I guess I didn't know what to think. Ten years ago, when I told you my story, I thought...I thought things would turn out differently, that's all.
(beat)
About a lot of things.
Billy looks uncomfortable.
BILLY
I told you then, Jennifer, things that happen on the set...stay on the set.
JENNIFER
But I didn't know that! I don't know anything about movies or movie sets! Couldn't you see that? I didn't know!
Billy thinks.
JENNIFER (CONT'D)
It would be like if I told you I was raped...then you took the story and turned it into one of your pornos!
BILLY
What am I now, the porn king? You know, I've directed over thirty features, some even under my own name. Probably seventy-five percent of those have been rated "R" or under.
JENNIFER
Okay, so maybe that is a little extreme, but do you see where I'm coming from?
BILLY
Yes, I do...now. That's why I came to your little shop. I want to give you the chance to tell the story again. The right way.
JENNIFER
What do you mean, the right way?
BILLY
I'm making a documentary. About all this shit that's going on. And maybe this time...maybe this time I'll get it right.
Jennifer looks at Billy for a long time.

Yell at me at johnoakdalton@hotmail.com.

Just barely getting started on the PETER ROTTENTAIL rewrite for the Polonia Brothers. It always takes a bit to get those rusty gears turnin'.

I am also teaching a basic scriptwriting course, and graded rough drafts this weekend. I have warned my students about what kind of plots I don't want to read, and thankfully they took it to heed. Here are some plots I don't want to read anymore.

PROM NIGHT MASSACRE: Two kids have loved each other since kindegarten, and we see their whole life, up until one gets killed on prom night.

HOOSIERS REDUX: Beleagured antihero has mad skillz, but Coach benches him, girlfriend dumps him, parents hate him, everyone else in the general populace is against him, until he hits the last-second shot and wins the state championship against a hated rival school.

SHOCK THE TEACHER: Lots of drugs, sex, and bad language, because of course teachers are born 37 years old wearing ties and have never had long hair or owned Who t-shirts.

ROSE-COLORED GLASSES: Everything is wrong with this horrible co-dependent volatile destructive relationship until the wishful thinking of the writer saves it from disaster and they live happily ever after.


And here's some more of AMONG US, not much better:


CUT TO:
EXT. CAMPGROUND -- DAY
A nervous young woman, GEORGIA, shifts from one foot to the other as she looks into the camera.
GEORGIA
We were sitting by the fire, all of us. We had the boombox up pretty loud, so I can't say we heard like twigs snapping or anything. But I know I smelled something. Not a bad smell, but...I grew up on a farm. Around horses. Like a wet horse smell, maybe. Definitely sweat, something with muscles. Then we saw it at the edge of the fire. My boyfriend Brett is like six-five, and this thing was taller than that. Thing, I mean it could have been a man. It was totally in shadow. Then in like a split-second it was gone. Everybody was trippin, it was a while before anybody could go out there and see what was up.
(beat)
Then we found the remains.
BILLY (O.S.)
The remains?
GEORGIA
Some--ah--some poo. I didn't smell it, but--ah--it was big, up to my knee. I don't mean I stepped in it, but it was--ah--that tall, I mean. And it was like in a pyramid shape.
(beat)
A pyramid of poo.
CUT TO:
INT. WAYNE'S HOME -- DAY
Wayne settles back in his chair and addresses an unseen interviewer.
WAYNE
I am often asked...if there is such a thing as a bigfoot...or sasquatch, or yeti, or North American great ape...why are there no bones? Why are there not piles of dung by the side of the road? But those that ask that question are giving these creatures attributes that may not apply to them. They do not put on clothes and live in planned communities, but that does not mean they do not care for their hygiene or their dead. Nor does the fact that they do exhibit signs of what we call...civilization...prevent them from acting in bestial ways. Is it appropriate to speak of a missing link? Perhaps, if nothing else, it should be considered food for thought.
CUT TO:
EXT. WOODS -- DAY
Feature a shaky camcorder view, trying to track a far-off shape through the trees.
WAYNE (V.O.)
There are new sightings every day. And the technology gets better to capture them. Yet there is always the person that says...I see a zipper...or, that's just a man in a fur coat.
CUT TO:
INT. WAYNE'S HOME -- CONTINUOUS
Wayne rests, with his bigfoot prop on one knee.
WAYNE
But that then begs the question...does the presence of hoaxes deny the existence of a real phenomena?
(beat)
My answer is this. Man has always tried to explain the mysteries of life...everything from where does rain come from, to what the stars in space are made of, and so on...Either scientifically, or through faith, or via legend.
(beat)
So did the awareness of the bigfoot develop because of the hoaxes...or did the hoaxes manifest as a way for us to deal with the fact...that there is an unfamiliar species among us?

Give me a yell at johnoakdalton@hotmail.com.

PS--And hey, will someone tell me if my guestbook isn't working?--JD

I always like putting in a little Johnny Cash when I'm working. Tonight I'll listen to RING OF FIRE, DADDY SANG BASS, SUNDAY MORNING COMING DOWN, I WALK THE LINE, FOLSOM PRISON BLUES, a lot more.

I haven't finished the DEMONS ON A DEAD END STREET rewrites, so I'm hitting that this weekend, and starting PETER ROTTENTAIL. Hopefully next weekend I'll be doing some networking at a con in Akron. Stay tuned.

Here's some AMONG US for ya; have a good weekend.



CUT TO:
EXT. SUMMER HOUSE -- DAY
DEBBIE, an attractive woman in her 30s, is standing on the expansive deck of an upscale summer home.
DEBBIE
John and I came up here on a lot of weekends. And despite it all I still love it up here.
(beat)
The weekend it happened was just a typical stay. John was grilling steaks, we sat outside and listened to the trees, a little bit later we watched a movie on TV.
(beat)
I guess it was about two a.m. when Rob heard something and woke up. We kept a shotgun in the room. I hated it, but John always said...you know. Well, John went all over the house and didn't find anything.
(beat)
Until the morning.
(beat)
They were right over here.
(she points)
Footprints. Muddy footprints. Of a bare foot.
BILLY (O.S.)
How big?
Debbie considers, then holds her hands a considerable distance apart. She shows this distance to the camera for a moment before she continues.
DEBBIE
I thought we should call somebody. The police. Or a park ranger or a professor or something. But John said no. He just hosed the footprints away.
(beat)
He was always good at that. Not wanting to look at things that happened. Not wanting to look at things...accept things.
Debbie looks off into the woods.
BILLY (O.S.)
Are you afraid to be out here?
Debbie thinks.
DEBBIE
A lot of people think I should be. But it's the only thing I really got out of the divorce. His lawyers made sure of that.
(beat, thinking)
But no, I'm not afraid. I wasn't afraid that night, I'm not afraid now. I mean, I know it wasn't some bum trying to squat. And I would bet it wasn't a bear, either. But I can't say what it was. If anything it was just curious about us. And who isn't curious about things?
CUT TO:
INT. WAYNE'S HOME -- DAY
Wayne is ushering the camera into a shabby office cluttered with many unique items. Wayne showcases a large wooden foot with a snowshoe strap across the top.
WAYNE
Now this one is a favorite. A debunker's favorite. They say that because someone made this and tramped around in a cornfield, that the bigfoot does not exist. That's like saying just because Ed Wood threw a pie plate in front of a camera that there are no UFOs.
(thinks)
But of course, there are those that would say that as well.

Those of you eagerly waiting for my next batch of homemade hooch (a Shiraz), I bought a hydrometer to check it out because I thought it stopped fermenting too early. Turns out it didn't (warm weather made it finish early); so it's still on track to be ready by Thanksgiving.

Too busy to engage in much philosophical discourse today, so here's more from AMONG US:

INT. WAYNE'S HOME -- DAY
Mild-mannered, with a rumpled air of a scientist, WAYNE BEAUBIER sits in an easy chair, overstuffed bookcases over his shoulder. He adjusts his glasses as he talks.
WAYNE
I met Billy D'Amato when he hired me as a consultant for his film "Space Cannibals." Well, it was not called that at the time, but that's what it ended up.
CG: WAYNE BEAUBIER, CRYPTOZOOLOGIST/XENOBIOLOGIST
WAYNE (CONT'D)
The film deals with the alien abduction phenomena, which I had been studying at the time. I will say that although sexual contact between abductors and abductees is not unprecedented, it certainly is featured rather prominently in the final project. As is, of course, cannibalism. Then again, Billy said that he had the investors to think about. But Billy told me this new project would be different. It would be based on reality.
CUT TO:
EXT. WOODS -- DAY
Wayne, in a suit and tie and carrying a black satchel, walks somewhat rigidly down a long trail, his face an odd expressionless mask. He stops rather abruptly and looks down.
From Wayne's POV, we see a large, deep, muddy footprint in the trail, with faint steam rising from it.
Wayne shakes his head and crouches down.
WAYNE
My partner is wrong. This is the creature that has his wife. Not those crazy bikers.
Wayne opens the satchel and takes out some tools.
A sequence of shots reveals Wayne carefully mixing a plaster and filling the footprint.
Nearby, a hairy paw moves some branches aside, revealing Wayne concentrating on his work.
In a few moments, we see Wayne pulling a perfect plaster cast of the creature's foot from the ground. He nods solemnly.
WAYNE (CONT'D)
This will be all the proof I need.
A twig SNAPS behind him, and Wayne's eyes open wide. He gradually turns his head to peer behind him.
The trail is empty.
Wayne EXPELS a long breath and gets to his feet.
Suddenly, the forest is shattered by an unearthly ROAR.
Wayne looks around wildly, then begins a stiff-legged run-walk away, with the plaster cast tucked under one arm.
Another ROAR splits the silence, from somewhere behind. Wayne glances over his shoulder and picks up the pace.
Suddenly he runs headlong into a hairy chest.
Feature Wayne's warbling SCREAM. He drops the plaster cast.
Feature a hairy paw coming down.
Feature a gout of blood splashing the fallen cast.
The camera lingers.
CG: BRIDE OF BIGFOOT (1994)
WAYNE (V.O.) (CONT'D)
Yes, I played Agent Rayl in "Bride of Bigfoot." It was a bit part, really.
CUT TO:
INT. WAYNE'S HOME -- CONTINUOUS
Wayne showcases a plaster cast he has hanging on the wall.
WAYNE
I must admit that there were some elements of the film that were not entirely...realistic. For instance, there have been very, very few instances of a bigfoot attacking a human. And the whole sequence with--uh--with the...the girls and the hot tub. But I was proud of my part, because I showed how real plaster casts are made. Like this one, recovered from La Crosse, Wisconsin. And I have one from Tell City, Indiana, that I made myself, from a print left there. I have had many people look at them. There are always people who think they can tell you what it isn't...but fewer who think they can tell you exactly what it is.

On January 16th I wrote in my (paper) journal, "If it is going to be feast or famine, please let it be feast for a little while." I was really at low ebb then. Be careful what you wish for, I guess. I'm going full-tilt boogie on a quick polish over DEMONS ON A DEAD END STREET, then on to PETER ROTTENTAIL, with GIZZARD GUTS waiting in the wings.

And here's some more from AMONG US:


INT. FILM SET -- DAY
RAY STEELE is an easygoing young man in a t-shirt, jeans, and elaborate grip belt. Various film equipment is stacked up around him.
CG: RAY STEELE, CINEMATOGRAPHER
RAY
Critics hate Billy. But the fans love him. Because he's real. And he adds something to everything he works on. Magic. Heart. We worked on a, ah, you know, "mature audiences" romantic film recently. Kind of typical stuff, boy falls for boy, boy loses boy, boy falls for boy's three muscular roommates, you know, typical. But Billy gave it a deeper meaning. Literary stuff.
(beat)
The title? That one was "The Love Prong of J. Alfred Prufrock."
DISSOLVE TO:
EXT. WOODS -- DAY
Two young people are in an intensive make-out session near a half-eaten picnic spread across a checked cloth. The man, DYLAN, happens to look over the his girlfriend KIM'S smooth round shoulder into the woods beyond, where something catches his eye. His lips come away with a wet SMACK.
KIM
What is it?
DYLAN
I dunno...something in those woods.
KIM
It's nothing, Dylan!
DYLAN
Nothing? Probably some perv.
KIM
Come on!
DYLAN
You stay here.
Dylan gets on his feet and starts creeping towards the trees. Kim looks on wide-eyed.
Dylan starts to bat at the underbrush.
DYLAN (CONT'D)
Hey! Whoever's out there better get his ass outta here!
He starts peering around more carefully.
DYLAN (CONT'D)
Hey, goddammit!
Feature Kim tracking the sounds of Dylan thrashing in the underbrush as it recedes into the distance. Pretty soon there is no sound at all.
KIM
Dylan!
(beat)
Dylan, I don't like this screwing around!
Kim starts to gather everything up, keeping one eye on the woods.
KIM (CONT'D)
This is the last time! I'm sick of this bullshit! I've told you I don't like to be scared! No more Halloween masks and rubber knives and that shit!
She stops, and eyes the woods narrowly.
KIM (CONT'D)
I will take this shit and leave! Then how will you get back to town?
Kim begins to clean everything up in earnest. She takes an armload of picnic debris to her boyfriend's low-slung sports car.
Suddenly, a blood-curdling SCREAM rips from the woods, causing Kim to drop most of her things.
She looks between the car and the woods, the car and the woods. Then she starts inching towards the woods himself.
KIM (CONT'D)
My brother said he was going to KICK YOUR ASS if I wanted him to! And I about want him to!
She is deeper in the trees now, looking around fearfully.
KIM (CONT'D)
(small voice)
Dylan?
She hears a twig SNAP. Then she turns, and is confronted with a RUBBER ALIEN. She SCREAMS as he reaches for her.
CG: SPACE CANNIBALS (1989)
RAY (V.O.)
I first worked with Billy D'Amato on "Space Cannibals." He gave me my first break, actually.
CUT TO:
INT. FILM SET -- DAY
Ray is relaxing.
RAY
I was into backyard wrestling...you know, me and a bunch of guys beating each other with flourescent tubes, stop signs, baseball bats with barbed wire wrapped around them, that kind of thing. I taped all of our matches and sold them over the Internet. Well, Billy was there checking out this chick what was doing jello wrestling before our matches. She ended up in one of the "Butcher Birthday" movies...you know, the shower scene? Well, I guess they all had shower scenes. Anyway, I showed Billy my tape, next thing I know Billy calls me 'cause his regular D.P. got busted for selling dime bags. And we've been working together ever since. And the cool thing is, I haven't had to use superglue to close up a wound since.


holla back at johnoakdalton@hotmail.com.

I got pretty good feedback on DEMONS ON A DEAD END STREET from the Polonia Brothers. Need to flesh out the ending a bit. Even my wife, who makes me pick up spiders in the house with napkins and carefully deposit them on the back porch, was calling for more bloodshed in the finale. I guess I just hate killing people in scripts, unless they deserve it. The only people who bite the dust thus far are a racist, an abusive boyfriend, and some devil-worshippers. I'll see what I can do. Maybe if I make one of the characters a Republican it will be easier.

Here's some more from AMONG US:


CUT TO:
EXT. SMALL-TOWN STREETS -- DAY
Billy paces down the sidewalk.
BILLY
You know, that's cool. That's one person. I'm going to meet with some other people when I'm in town. We premiered "Hunger of Bigfoot" at the drive-in here about ten years ago. I'm going to do a poster signing at the video store here.
GREENBAUM (O.S.)
Billy? Billy D'Amato?
Billy turns and sees BOB GREENBAUM, a serious, scholarly sort, walking towards him. Billy juts out his hand.
BILLY
How you doin'?
GREENBAUM
I don't know if you remember me, but I'm Bob Greenbaum. I teach at the community college now, but back when you did the "Bigfoot" thing here I was writing for the local paper and I interviewed you.
BILLY
Bob, nice to see you again.
GREENBAUM
I'm glad to have caught you. I was hoping to catch you at the poster signing later.
BILLY
Well, come on out.
Greenbaum starts rooting through a briefcase.
GREENBAUM
I will, I will. I've been writing a book. Interviews with movie directors, based on some of my early stuff from the paper. I'd love to update your interview. Here's a rough draft of the manuscript.
Greembaum hands Billy a sheaf of papers, which he thumbs through.
BILLY
Hey, that's cool.
GREENBAUM
I just got Lance Randas and Victoria Sloan added.
BILLY
What are you calling this book?
GREENBAUM
"Virtual Drive-In."
Billy flips back to the front of the book.
BILLY
The cover says, "Virtual Drive-In: the Wanna-Bes and Fringe-Dwellers of Today's Bargain Basement Cinema."
Greenbaum just looks on.
BILLY (CONT'D)
Sounds kinda long-winded.
GREENBAUM
Yeah, well, everything after the colon is being added by the publisher. What can you do?
BILLY
Yeah, I been there.
He hands the manuscript back.
BILLY (CONT'D)
I'll see you later, then?
GREENBAUM
(nods)
Sounds good.
Greenbaum moves off, and Billy looks into the camera.
BILLY
See? Down one minute, up the next!
CUT TO:
EXT. VIDEO STORE -- NIGHT
The video store is brightly-lit against a quiet night.
CUT TO:
INT. VIDEO STORE -- MOMENTS LATER
Billy sits at a folding table with a stack of posters. Besides a disinterested video clerk, the room is empty.
Then CLAY, a young fan in a black death-metal t-shirt, comes in and makes a beeline for Billy.
CLAY
I'm a really, really big fan.
BILLY
Thanks, bro. How 'bout an autographed "Bride of Bigfoot" poster?
Billy upcaps a pen, but the kid exposes a bare arm.
BILLY (CONT'D)
That'll wash off...you know, if you shower at some point.
CLAY
Could you carve it into my arm? I have a knife.
(beat)
No, that's bad.
(beat)
You know, your movies helped me through some rough spots. You know, help me get out some bad feelings.
BILLY
Uh-huh.
(beat)
Hey, Ray, could you come over here?
CUT TO:
EXT. VIDEO STORE -- AFTERNOON
The night wears on.
CUT TO:
INT. VIDEO STORE -- LATER
Clay has pulled up a chair and is talking earnestly.
CLAY
So in "Bigfoot House Party" there are three different guys playing the bigfoot. In the break-dancing massacre scene, is that Paul Allen, Ray Steele, or Todd Carpenter in the costume?
BILLY
Hmmmm...don't remember that one. Ray?
CLAY
Because I think it's Paul because he's a little taller. Me and some other dudes have a six-pack riding on it.
BILLY
Uhhh...I don't remember exactly.
(looks around)
Where did Ray go?
Clay just nods for a long moment.
CLAY
It's cool. It doesn't matter.
Another more SURLY FAN comes in, to Billy's relief. He starts to look over the posters.
BILLY
Hey, how are you?
SURLY FAN
These your movies?
BILLY
Sure.
SURLY FAN
They suck.
The surly fan turns away dismissively.
In a flash, Clay is up with his hands around the guy's neck. The room is in a clamor.

WORKING ON:
I finished DEMONS ON A DEAD END STREET this weekend while watching the Colts scrape past the Browns. Mailed it off this morning, fingers crossed. PETER ROTTENTAIL polish tonight. Apparently more of RAZORTEETH got shot this weekend in Pennsylvania, and the good weather is holding.

READING:
I've started MCKENZIE'S FRIEND by Philip Davison, a nicely hard-boiled British spy/detective novel with an interesting protagonist and a crisp writing style.

LISTENING TO:
THE CRAZED by Ha Jin, a book on tape in the car. It takes place in China post-Cultural Revolution and pre-Tiananmen Square, the time I visited as an exchange student one summer, so it has been compelling to me despite a jumbled narrative thus far.

MORE OF AMONG US:


CUT TO:
EXT. COFFEE SHOP -- AFTERNOON
Through a picture window, Billy and Jennifer are seen having coffee.
CUT TO:
INT. COFFEE SHOP -- CONTINUOUS
BILLY
We were scouting a location someone offered us for a film.
JENNIFER
What movie?
BILLY
It doesn't matter what movie.
JENNIFER
It matters to me. I said I would only come if you answered all of my questions. And I want to know who else's life you're ready to exploit.
BILLY
Nobody, it wasn't that kind of movie. It was...look, I'm working in couples movies these days.
JENNIFER
(scoffs)
A romantic movie? You? Didn't you already make "Bride of Bigfoot?"
BILLY
Yeah, yeah, okay.
JENNIFER
So what is this movie called?
Billy takes a breath.
BILLY
"Cornhole Cabin Part 12."
Jennifer absorbs this for a long moment, then bursts out LAUGHING.
BILLY (CONT'D)
Yeah, well, now you know I didn't make millions off your back like you've always thought. I still have to work for a living.
JENNIFER
So tell me, Billy...is there a big audience for log cabin fetishes, or is it the just the large number of places away from prying eyes that has kept this "franchise" alive?
Billy shakes his head.
BILLY
You know, it's hard to bring something fresh to the project after eleven straight films.
Jennifer shakes her head.
JENNIFER
I thought you were being sincere. For the briefest second. Just a sliver of light through the clouds. What was I thinking?
(beat, to herself)
What was I thinking.
Jennifer leans forward.
JENNIFER (CONT'D)
When you went to the movies as a kid, and you looked up at the screen...Star Wars, E.T., Close Encounters, whatever...did you ever sit there and think...I will never be in the same league as those people.
Billy sits very still. Then he gets up and leaves the frame.


Give me a shout at johnoakdalton@hotmail.com.

I found out that the Polonia Brothers are shooting scenes for RAZORTEETH this weekend after polishing off a chunk of second unit stuff last week. It's hard to believe this is coming so soon on the hairy heels of AMONG US. But to keep up with their commitment to put together four features this year the kettle's got to keep boiling. Which means I hope to finish DEMONS ON A DEAD END STREET this weekend and start polishing PETER ROTTENTAIL next week.

I've decided I don't like writing with the laptop. Too many distractions, especially now that football season has started. Baseball is mellow enough that I can write to it, but not football, unfortunately. And I can never get comfortable. I could never be one of those guys that sits in his underwear under a tree writing poetry. I work better sitting upright in a chair, at a desk, typing away.

A few years ago I did a relaxation exercise where I sort of ended up hypnotized/asleep/whatever and could have sworn I was sitting at my desk made out of a closet door in my bedroom in my parent's house, typing on my Smith Corona. It was so real I could even hear the muffled TV through the wall next to my bed. It's sort of what got me back to writing again. So maybe that's why I like sitting at a desk when I write.

Speaking of writing, here's some more from AMONG US:


CUT TO:
EXT. BOOKSTORE -- DAY
Billy looks nervous as he approaches the bookstore, a camera in tow. Billy looks at the camera.
BILLY
Ten years...ten years is a long time. But here I am.
CUT TO:
INT. BOOKSTORE -- MOMENTS LATER
JENNIFER DEMPSEY, 30s, smart and pretty, stands behind a counter in a cozy, cluttered secondhand book shop. Working alongside her is LESLIE, a pierced and tattooed girl in Buddy Holly glasses.
Jennifer looks stunned for a long moment when Billy comes in with a nervous smile. Then she murmurs to Leslie.
JENNIFER
Get the thickest book you can find. A Tom Clancy or a Stephen King might do it.
Leslie looks shocked, then slips away quickly into the stacks.
Billy ambles up to the counter and licks his lips.
BILLY
Hey, Jennifer. Long time, no see.
Jennifer waits a LONG MOMENT.
JENNIFER
You fucking bastard.
Billy holds his hands out wide.
BILLY
I came a long way.
JENNIFER
Unless you came from hell, you didn't come far enough.
Leslie slips a thick book into Jennifer's hand. Billy eyes it warily.
JENNIFER (CONT'D)
You ruined my life.
BILLY
It looks like you've done pretty well for yourself.
JENNIFER
I've had to hide in here. You made me a laughing stock in my hometown.
BILLY
Some people might say...that I made you a star.
JENNIFER
A star.
She hefts the book and sizes Billy up.
JENNIFER (CONT'D)
I sold you my story. You said you were going to do it right. But then you hired a stripper to play me. And then you had me masturbating in the shower while a bigfoot watched through the window!
BILLY
You know, some things...had to be changed. Streamlined. There were investors--
JENNIFER
YOU HAD ME GETTING OFF WITH A BIGFOOT!
She wings the book, and Billy dodges it.
BILLY
Jesus Christ!
JENNIFER
What are you here for? Are you making "Bigfoot Does Dallas?"
Billy lifts his hands in supplication.
BILLY
Just hear me out...
JENNIFER
(to Leslie)
Don't bother getting something off the shelf. Hand me the phone book.
Billy starts, ducks his head, and slips out, the camera close behind.
CUT TO:
EXT. BOOKSTORE -- MOMENTS LATER
Billy slows down and expels a long breath. He glances toward the camera.
BILLY
Well, that went well. You want to get a latte, Ray?
Suddenly the door to Jennifer's shop JINGLES open, and Billy instinctively ducks.
JENNIFER (O.S.)
Hey.
Billy turns and spies Jennifer.
JENNIFER (CONT'D)
I've waited ten years. It's not over that quickly.
Jennifer inches up on Billy as he backs away.
JENNIFER (CONT'D)
You said there was going to be a big premiere. It was at the fucking drive in! You said the bigfoot would be realistic. You used an ape suit!
Billy juts out a finger.
BILLY
Now wait. An ape suit you can get. But who rents bigfoot suits? And isn't a bigfoot in the ape family ultimately?
Jennifer narrows her eyes.
JENNIFER
You sniveling little bastard. Just tell me. Tell me why you oozed back here.
Billy just shakes his head and walks away. Jennifer pursues him.
JENNIFER (CONT'D)
No, you tell me. I put myself in your hands...my whole self. I told you my story. And you treated it like shit. After you promised it would be right. Now what do you want?
Billy falters for a moment.
BILLY
I--I'm just...I'm sorry, alright?
Billy keeps walking.
JENNIFER
That's it, huh? After ten years? After ten years you just stutter it out? That's piss-poor. Why now, huh? Why now?
Billy whirls.
BILLY
BECAUSE IT HAPPENED TO ME!
He takes a long breath.
BILLY (CONT'D)
Because it happened to me.

Give me a yell at johnoakdalton@hotmail.com.

Over lunch I went and played a board game with my old pal the mighty Caveman. It was a pretty good card game called "Odin's Ravens." It's along the lines of "Settlers of Cataan" and those philosophical European games. Those Europeans sure thought up some pretty interesting game mechanics. It's nice to keep the creative juices flowing. At least that's what Vin Diesel said on Conan O'Brien not long ago. That's right, Vin Diesel--D&D gamer. Almost as weird as Freddie Prinze Jr.--comic book collector. Then how come when I go to Cons everybody is as nerdy as me?

Here's some more AMONG US, my Bigfoot script coming to a DVD player near you in 04.


DISSOLVE TO:
EXT. WOODS -- NIGHT
POV shot tracks through the woods, trees and limbs getting smashed aside.
A CABIN stands in the cold moonlight. There is a SNUFFLING, GRUNTING noise as the POV lands on the cabin.
CUT TO:
INT. CABIN -- MOMENTS LATER
A SEXY WOMAN is enjoying a luxurious, sudsy shower.
CUT TO:
EXT. CABIN -- MOMENTS LATER
The POV follows alongside the cabin to a square of yellow light coming from a steamy window.
A hairy PAW swipes away the steam. A GRUNT of pleasure escapes into the night when the POV lands on the woman in the shower.
CUT TO:
INT. CABIN -- CONTINUOUS
The woman in the shower feels eyes upon her. She looks around nervously, then shuts off the water.
She SNAPS the shower curtain open suddenly. Nobody is there.
She wraps herself in a big towel and starts inching out into the steamy bathroom.
Then she expels a long breath.
Suddenly, the hairy paw SMASHES through the little bathroom window.
The woman spins, and SCREAMS.
CUT TO THE FULL MOON as the monster's HOWL joins her, and the twin sounds split the night.
CG: HUNGER OF BIGFOOT (1993)
BILLY (V.O.)
"Hunger of Bigfoot" was my first hit.
CUT TO:
INT. BILLY'S OFFICE -- DAY
BILLY D'AMATO, bearded, earnest, in a tan safari jacket over a movie logo t-shirt, has his Doc Martens up on a desk cluttered with movie memorabilia. Behind him, the walls are covered with movie posters and shelves brimming with dog-eared scripts.
CG: BILLY D'AMATO, FILMMAKER
BILLY
I've had a good long run. Next was "Bride of Bigfoot." Then I did "Butcher Birthday," Birthday 2, and then 3...it really completed the three act dramatic structure, so 4 and 5 were done by other people. And that was fine.
CUT TO:
EXT. WOODS -- CONTINUOUS
Figures are moving through the woods, their black clothes sometimes visible, silver weapons glinting from time to time. They are in hot pursuit of someone--or something.
An APE in black pajamas, with a headband wrapped around his skull, is dragging a scantily-clad VIXEN through the underbrush, and she is fighting all the way.
With a shrill YELL, one leaps from the woods, brandishing martial-arts weapons, revealing himself to be a NINJA.
NINJA
You killed the master! Now you must die!
The ape casually flings the young woman aside, taking on a fighting stance.
In the next second, several other NINJAS jump out of the trees and go after the creature.
NINJA (CONT'D)
You will not defeat us!
Much fighting and shouting ensues, as the woman SCREAMS nearby and watches the fray.
BILLY (V.O.)
Soon I went back to my roots and did "Ninja Bigfoot."
CUT TO:
INT. BILLY'S OFFICE -- CONTINUOUS
BILLY
It wasn't my strongest dramatically, but I grew as a person.
CUT TO:
INT. PARTY CABIN -- NIGHT
Two young urban kids in street attire are looking around a dusty, cobwebbed cabin with flashlights.
YOUNG DJ
We should have stayed back in the hood, G!
YOUNG MC
What you afraid of? Any motherfucker front me gets a cap in his ass, yo!
The young man brandishes a nickel-plated revolver at his friend, then turns back around and almost bumps into the hairy chest of an ape. The ape lets out a low GROWL as the young man's jaw falls open in surprise. He tries to shoot, but the ape grabs the gun and starts to wrestle it away.
YOUNG MC (CONT'D)
Kill him, G!
The gun GOES OFF, and the young man falls. His friend starts backing up slowly, eyes wide.
YOUNG MC (CONT'D)
No....No!!
The ape/bigfoot lets out a mighty ROAR and raises itself up to full height. Then it begins to chase the hapless survivor through the cabin.
BILLY (V.O.)
But I made a comeback of sorts with "Bigfoot House Party." I'm proud of the film. Look it up, I was the first to reach that untapped urban horror market.
CUT TO:
INT. BILLY'S OFFICE -- DAY
Billy talks intently to an interviewer off-camera.
BILLY
And that soundtrack? Talk about your mad rhymes and your phat beats. Whew!
Billy turns thoughtful.
BILLY (CONT'D)
But, you know, that was a long time ago. And this project I'm doing now...it's not what people expect from me, it's...a new direction. A new beginning.

Give me a shout at johnoakdalton@hotmail.com.

So what are my influences right now? I've been reading a lot of manga, especially LONE WOLF AND CUB; probably one of the most influential milestones in comicdom, impacting all kinds of writers and artists (and me, down in the bottom of the pile somewhere) with its own sense of morality and honor. And I've been listening to a lot of Johnny Cash and 70s soul; the former for its raw emotion, the latter to cheer me up and give me the energy to keep going.

Several people have asked to read AMONG US, my Bigfoot script coming out on DVD in early 04. So here it is, a few humble scenes at a time. By the time I have it all posted, the movie should probably be out!


FADE IN:
INT. INTERVIEW ROOM -- NIGHT
The WHEELS of a TAPE RECORDER turn in extreme close-up. Only VOICES are heard, over OPENING CREDITS.
KEN (V.O.)
You ain't going to use my face?
BILLY (V.O.)
This is audio recording only.
KEN (V.O.)
Because I can't have nobody know about this. I got a job.
BILLY (V.O.)
Just describe what happened.
KEN (V.O.)
Me and the boy were camping in the state forest. We heard it after dark. It wasn't like nothing I ever heard.
A SLOW DISSOLVE to the same tape recorder, out wider.
PATRICIA (V.O.)
I was driving out by the state hospital. So you always keep your eyes out, you know?
BILLY (V.O.)
What do you mean?
PATRICIA (V.O.)
Once in high school I saw a guy walking along with long sleeves. You know, extra long? I found out later somebody escaped.
BILLY (V.O.)
What did you see that night?
Long PAUSE.
PATRICIA (V.O.)
A big guy. Reminded me of The Chief, like in "One Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest"? Only this guy...
Long PAUSE.
PATRICIA (V.O.) (CONT'D)
Only he was covered with hair.
DISSOLVE TO:
EXT. HIGHWAY -- NIGHT
A lone car is cruising down the road, its twin beams cutting through the night.
The car begins to CHUG and RATTLE, and eventually coasts to the shoulder of the road.
A young man, JASON, and his exasperated girlfriend, TORI, get out and look under the hood.
TORI
Why do you think you can fix everything yourself? You needed to get a mechanic!
Jason roots around in silence.
TORI (CONT'D)
You don't even have a map in this car! How are we supposed to get help?
Jason slams the hood with a resounding CLANG.
JASON
There was a rest stop only about a mile back.
TORI
(brusquely)
Oh, only a mile? Great!
CUT TO:
EXT. WOODS -- NIGHT
POV shot tracks through the woods, bending limbs aside, revealing the highway beyond and the stranded pair. A GRUNT and SMACKING OF LIPS is heard.
DISSOLVE TO:
EXT. HIGHWAY -- LATER
Jason and Tori walk dejectedly towards the rest stop, Tori NAGGING at Jason's heels the whole way. Suddenly, a HOWL breaks Tori's diatribe.
The two stop cold, and fall silent.
TORI
What was that?
JASON
Probably just a coyote. Let's keep going.
TORI
You think THAT was a coyote?
But she rushes to catch up to Jason.
CUT TO:
EXT. REST STOP -- NIGHT
Tori and Jason come up on the eerily quiet building, with an empty parking lot stretching in front of it.
TORI
Well, I hope there's at least a park ranger here.
JASON
Rest stops don't have park rangers, but there's probably an attendant.
While Jason goes inside the building, Tori wanders over to an outside park bench and sits down nervously. She jumps up, startled.
TORI
GROSS!
She starts trying to wipe something sticky from her pants.
A moment later, Jason appears with a flashlight, shining it around.
JASON
I didn't find anybody, but someone left a flashlight just laying around, so I grabbed it.
TORI
Well, let's get out of here, this place is dirty. I just sat in somebody's spill--
Jason shines the light on her, and sees that her pants are stained crimson.
TORI (CONT'D)
OH MY GOD!! WHAT IS THAT?!
JASON
I think...it's blood.
Suddenly the HOWL starts up again.
CUT TO:
EXT. WOODS -- CONTINUOUS
POV from the woods to the rest stop, picking up speed as it closes on the shocked faces of Jason and Tori. Jason points the flashlight straight ahead, SCREAMING as the screen DISSOLVES TO A DAZZLING WHITE.


You can give me a yell at johnoakdalton@hotmail.com.

Well, besides the constant rain, and my daughter stepping on something and needing a tetanus shot, then her friend opening the van door on my head while I was checking a low tire, then coming home and finding firemen sandbagging my neighborhood against flash floods, it was a nice camping weekend.

The problem is, not enough happens in my life to draw upon for creative writing.

Actually, there's a great new water ride at Holiday World that shoots you into a giant funnel and spins you around like when you drop a penny in...well, a funnel. My swimsuit caught on the tube when I came shooting into the funnel and nearly showed innocent bystanders the birthday boy in his...well, you get the picture.

If the crik don't rise any more, it's back to DEMONS this evening.

More tomorrow on this, if the apocalypse abates.

Until then, you can write me at johnoakdalton@hotmail.com.