Thursday, September 11, 2003

Those of you eagerly waiting for my next batch of homemade hooch (a Shiraz), I bought a hydrometer to check it out because I thought it stopped fermenting too early. Turns out it didn't (warm weather made it finish early); so it's still on track to be ready by Thanksgiving.

Too busy to engage in much philosophical discourse today, so here's more from AMONG US:

Mild-mannered, with a rumpled air of a scientist, WAYNE BEAUBIER sits in an easy chair, overstuffed bookcases over his shoulder. He adjusts his glasses as he talks.
I met Billy D'Amato when he hired me as a consultant for his film "Space Cannibals." Well, it was not called that at the time, but that's what it ended up.
The film deals with the alien abduction phenomena, which I had been studying at the time. I will say that although sexual contact between abductors and abductees is not unprecedented, it certainly is featured rather prominently in the final project. As is, of course, cannibalism. Then again, Billy said that he had the investors to think about. But Billy told me this new project would be different. It would be based on reality.
Wayne, in a suit and tie and carrying a black satchel, walks somewhat rigidly down a long trail, his face an odd expressionless mask. He stops rather abruptly and looks down.
From Wayne's POV, we see a large, deep, muddy footprint in the trail, with faint steam rising from it.
Wayne shakes his head and crouches down.
My partner is wrong. This is the creature that has his wife. Not those crazy bikers.
Wayne opens the satchel and takes out some tools.
A sequence of shots reveals Wayne carefully mixing a plaster and filling the footprint.
Nearby, a hairy paw moves some branches aside, revealing Wayne concentrating on his work.
In a few moments, we see Wayne pulling a perfect plaster cast of the creature's foot from the ground. He nods solemnly.
This will be all the proof I need.
A twig SNAPS behind him, and Wayne's eyes open wide. He gradually turns his head to peer behind him.
The trail is empty.
Wayne EXPELS a long breath and gets to his feet.
Suddenly, the forest is shattered by an unearthly ROAR.
Wayne looks around wildly, then begins a stiff-legged run-walk away, with the plaster cast tucked under one arm.
Another ROAR splits the silence, from somewhere behind. Wayne glances over his shoulder and picks up the pace.
Suddenly he runs headlong into a hairy chest.
Feature Wayne's warbling SCREAM. He drops the plaster cast.
Feature a hairy paw coming down.
Feature a gout of blood splashing the fallen cast.
The camera lingers.
Yes, I played Agent Rayl in "Bride of Bigfoot." It was a bit part, really.
Wayne showcases a plaster cast he has hanging on the wall.
I must admit that there were some elements of the film that were not entirely...realistic. For instance, there have been very, very few instances of a bigfoot attacking a human. And the whole sequence with--uh--with the...the girls and the hot tub. But I was proud of my part, because I showed how real plaster casts are made. Like this one, recovered from La Crosse, Wisconsin. And I have one from Tell City, Indiana, that I made myself, from a print left there. I have had many people look at them. There are always people who think they can tell you what it isn't...but fewer who think they can tell you exactly what it is.

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