Over lunch I went and played a board game with my old pal the mighty Caveman. It was a pretty good card game called "Odin's Ravens." It's along the lines of "Settlers of Cataan" and those philosophical European games. Those Europeans sure thought up some pretty interesting game mechanics. It's nice to keep the creative juices flowing. At least that's what Vin Diesel said on Conan O'Brien not long ago. That's right, Vin Diesel--D&D gamer. Almost as weird as Freddie Prinze Jr.--comic book collector. Then how come when I go to Cons everybody is as nerdy as me?

Here's some more AMONG US, my Bigfoot script coming to a DVD player near you in 04.


DISSOLVE TO:
EXT. WOODS -- NIGHT
POV shot tracks through the woods, trees and limbs getting smashed aside.
A CABIN stands in the cold moonlight. There is a SNUFFLING, GRUNTING noise as the POV lands on the cabin.
CUT TO:
INT. CABIN -- MOMENTS LATER
A SEXY WOMAN is enjoying a luxurious, sudsy shower.
CUT TO:
EXT. CABIN -- MOMENTS LATER
The POV follows alongside the cabin to a square of yellow light coming from a steamy window.
A hairy PAW swipes away the steam. A GRUNT of pleasure escapes into the night when the POV lands on the woman in the shower.
CUT TO:
INT. CABIN -- CONTINUOUS
The woman in the shower feels eyes upon her. She looks around nervously, then shuts off the water.
She SNAPS the shower curtain open suddenly. Nobody is there.
She wraps herself in a big towel and starts inching out into the steamy bathroom.
Then she expels a long breath.
Suddenly, the hairy paw SMASHES through the little bathroom window.
The woman spins, and SCREAMS.
CUT TO THE FULL MOON as the monster's HOWL joins her, and the twin sounds split the night.
CG: HUNGER OF BIGFOOT (1993)
BILLY (V.O.)
"Hunger of Bigfoot" was my first hit.
CUT TO:
INT. BILLY'S OFFICE -- DAY
BILLY D'AMATO, bearded, earnest, in a tan safari jacket over a movie logo t-shirt, has his Doc Martens up on a desk cluttered with movie memorabilia. Behind him, the walls are covered with movie posters and shelves brimming with dog-eared scripts.
CG: BILLY D'AMATO, FILMMAKER
BILLY
I've had a good long run. Next was "Bride of Bigfoot." Then I did "Butcher Birthday," Birthday 2, and then 3...it really completed the three act dramatic structure, so 4 and 5 were done by other people. And that was fine.
CUT TO:
EXT. WOODS -- CONTINUOUS
Figures are moving through the woods, their black clothes sometimes visible, silver weapons glinting from time to time. They are in hot pursuit of someone--or something.
An APE in black pajamas, with a headband wrapped around his skull, is dragging a scantily-clad VIXEN through the underbrush, and she is fighting all the way.
With a shrill YELL, one leaps from the woods, brandishing martial-arts weapons, revealing himself to be a NINJA.
NINJA
You killed the master! Now you must die!
The ape casually flings the young woman aside, taking on a fighting stance.
In the next second, several other NINJAS jump out of the trees and go after the creature.
NINJA (CONT'D)
You will not defeat us!
Much fighting and shouting ensues, as the woman SCREAMS nearby and watches the fray.
BILLY (V.O.)
Soon I went back to my roots and did "Ninja Bigfoot."
CUT TO:
INT. BILLY'S OFFICE -- CONTINUOUS
BILLY
It wasn't my strongest dramatically, but I grew as a person.
CUT TO:
INT. PARTY CABIN -- NIGHT
Two young urban kids in street attire are looking around a dusty, cobwebbed cabin with flashlights.
YOUNG DJ
We should have stayed back in the hood, G!
YOUNG MC
What you afraid of? Any motherfucker front me gets a cap in his ass, yo!
The young man brandishes a nickel-plated revolver at his friend, then turns back around and almost bumps into the hairy chest of an ape. The ape lets out a low GROWL as the young man's jaw falls open in surprise. He tries to shoot, but the ape grabs the gun and starts to wrestle it away.
YOUNG MC (CONT'D)
Kill him, G!
The gun GOES OFF, and the young man falls. His friend starts backing up slowly, eyes wide.
YOUNG MC (CONT'D)
No....No!!
The ape/bigfoot lets out a mighty ROAR and raises itself up to full height. Then it begins to chase the hapless survivor through the cabin.
BILLY (V.O.)
But I made a comeback of sorts with "Bigfoot House Party." I'm proud of the film. Look it up, I was the first to reach that untapped urban horror market.
CUT TO:
INT. BILLY'S OFFICE -- DAY
Billy talks intently to an interviewer off-camera.
BILLY
And that soundtrack? Talk about your mad rhymes and your phat beats. Whew!
Billy turns thoughtful.
BILLY (CONT'D)
But, you know, that was a long time ago. And this project I'm doing now...it's not what people expect from me, it's...a new direction. A new beginning.

Give me a shout at johnoakdalton@hotmail.com.