All kinds of stuff going on today; so here's a bit from PETER ROTTENTAIL to tide you over for now.

DISSOLVE TO:
INT. JAMES' HOME (KITCHEN) -- MORNING
A rumpled James, tired from lack of sleep, comes into the kitchen scratching himself and hunting for coffee.
He clicks on the television.
A perky ANCHOR looks out at television land.
ANCHOR
--you could have purchased a toy that will kill your children--later in our broadcast. But first...
(beat)
The police are out to stop a hometown tradition this year; the annual desecration of the grave of magician Peter Krigstein, who committed suicide several years ago. The life and mysterious death of the self-proclaimed "Peter the Great" have become the stuff of urban legend here.
James stares at the screen.
CUT TO:
EXT. GRAVEYARD -- DAY
From the news camera's POV, feature TODD, a gangly youth, standing in front of Peter's grave, festooned with toilet paper and other debris. A CG across the bottom of the screen reads: "Local Disaffected Youth."
TODD
Yeah, everybody who knows what's up parties here. It's stone freaky here at night. This dude was a real douche bag, he started trippin' at some party and was going to go all Manson up on some kids.
(beat)
Can you say douche bag on TV?
Cut wide as the CAMERAMAN lowers the camera dejectedly and shakes his head, turning away from Todd. Realizing his fifteen minutes of fame are over, Todd flashes him the finger.
TODD (CONT'D)
Whatever, dude!
Todd spies his pal KEVIN standing nearby.
KEVIN
Dude, your pops is going to see that shit on TV, yo!
TODD
Nah, he only watches wrestling and porno, dude.
Todd and Kevin head out of the graveyard.
KEVIN
I snuck some forties out of my dad's fishing cooler. You want to come back up here later?
TODD
I got something better to do. You remember that uncle I have who my parents didn't want me to turn out like?
KEVIN
Yeah?
TODD
Dude died, man. And I bet he died happy.
KEVIN
Why's that, G?
TODD
Know how he was always going off to New Orleans and Jamaica and shit? And he was always jamming to those Bob Marley records and all that noise?
KEVIN
Yeah?
TODD
You know a dude like that ain't sittin' around drinkin' no lemonade. So what kind of stash you think he left in his crib, yo?
Kevin stops cold.
KEVIN
Chronic?
TODD
Yo yo yo.
KEVIN
Blunts?
TODD
Yah mon.
KEVIN
Spliffs?
TODD
Amen, brother.
KEVIN
Dude!
TODD
Dude!
They race out of frame.

Give me a yell at johnoakdalton@hotmail.com.