From the Mailbox

My pal Gary Lumpp mentioned to me that my blog seems to be mostly about me fixing my house and writin' scripts. Painfully, that is the bulk of my life right now. So maybe I'll change things up by mentioning that there was a bomb threat at my daughter's high school yesterday, and they closed to school, but the pen is mightier than the sword and tonight A MIDSUMMER'S NIGHT'S DREAM, with my daughter as a fairy, but not one of the ones that gets a name, will go on as planned in the cafetorium. Then she will discard her fairy's wings, and as a true renaissance woman, rejoin the 2-1 (counting a forfeit) JV basketball team to take on the mighty Cowan Blackhawks.

And I am also going to paint the bathroom tomorrow in preparation for Thanksgiving, and work on GIZZARD GUTS some more.

I got an update from new pal Joe Barlow, who told me the director Bob Dennis changed the name of DEAD LAKE to DEATH LAKE. Joe is the editor of the feature, from a script from John Polonia that I rewrote and that (I think) two more people took a stab at (so to speak) afterwards.

Another pal, Tom Cherry, wrote to me after checking in on my script pages here hoping for the painful deaths of PETER ROTTENTAIL's misguided youths Kevin and Todd (named for b-movie mavens Kevin Lindenmuth and Todd Sheets, by the way--and you should check out John Polonia's Todd Sheets impression sometime). Coming soon, Tom, but not today:

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EXT. TEJEDA'S HOUSE -- NIGHT
A full moon hangs in a cold, starless sky.
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INT. TEJEDA'S BASEMENT -- NIGHT
Kevin and Todd come down the stairs of the dilapidated old house carrying flashlights.
Todd gropes for the light switch, and suddenly the basement is bathed in a weird purple light.
The two friends exchange glances.
TODD
Grow lights, dude! This will be the motherlode!
They both look in opposite directions, wild-eyed, the white light from their flashlights spearing the strange quasi-gloom.
Suddenly, an eerie LAUGH shatters the silence.
Both flashlights spin and zero in on its source.
Both teens see Todd's dead uncle Tejeda LAUGHING, a crazed look in his eyes, gesturing at the shocked kids.
TODD AND KEVIN
WHOA!!!
Tejeda disappears.
Todd and Kevin exchange glances.
TODD
I can't believe it, dude.
Kevin shakes his head.
KEVIN
Me neither.
TODD
I'm getting a contact high off the walls, G. I'm seeing all kinds a weird shit.
KEVIN
There must be some righteous shit down here.
Both teens start looking around more carefully.
Todd opens one of many cardboard boxes on a nearby shelf. Then another.
Kevin notices him.
KEVIN (CONT'D)
Anything, G?
TODD
Nah, just old books.
KEVIN
Dude, if I wanted to look at old books, I'd quit skipping school.
Todd brings out an odd-looking book, like an old scrapbook.
He gently strokes the cover, and an ominous monk-like CHORUS reverbs in the grubby basement.
Kevin shows the devil-horned heavy metal sign with both hands, fingers wiggling.
KEVIN (CONT'D)
That book rocks!
TODD
I don't know, dude, this cover is weird. Like old skin. It kinda feels like kissing my grandma.
KEVIN
You don't think--
TODD
Naw, my grandma's still alive, dude.
Kevin comes and looks.
KEVIN
Dude, I don't mean your grandma! What if it's...somebody else's skin?
TODD
Dude, why? Have you ever tried to write a chick's number on your hand? It smears and shit. Who would write a book on that? Doesn't make any sense, G.
KEVIN
Then open it, dude.
Todd slowly cracks the cover; then suddenly slams it shut.
TODD
Whoa, dude. What if this has, like, a bunch of chick's numbers in it...all cut off of a bunch of dude's hands?
KEVIN
Whoa!
(beat)
You think any of those chicks live around here?
Todd elbows him, then cracks open the book.
He starts slowly mouthing the words.
KEVIN (CONT'D)
Read it out loud, G!
TODD
"I call upon all of the powers of evil and decadence...to raise a profaned body to do my bidding..."
KEVIN
What is that, just some Metallica lyrics?
TODD
Shut up, dude!
(beat)
"I stand here...as a student of the Dark Arts. I call upon...the cursed shadows...for a reward!"
The lights dim, then come back on suddenly. A LOW MOAN is heard.
Both teens look around.
KEVIN
Let's motor, G. I know where we can get some ditchweed off my cousin's farm.
TODD
Let's ghost, yo.
Todd throws the book down, and they start heading for the stairs.
Feature the creepy book, in the ghastly reddish light.
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Give me a holler at johnoakdalton@hotmail.com.