Monday, December 22, 2003

Serpentine Fire

I've been sick, with a migraine to cap it off, so I think I'll go right to more from my rewrite of PETER ROTTENTAIL for the Polonia Brothers, in the waning days of post-production even as we speak:

Peter Rottentail hops down the sidewalk.
Peter spies SCOTT talking at a payphone.
I'm sorry, baby, I got to pick up a second shift tonight. I'll be home late. Real late.
No, I'm not out drinking with the guys. I'm at work. Only the phones are busted so I had to go outside to a pay phone. You know how it is with technology, baby, you can't trust none of it.
Peter hops up and stares at the man.
That's why I got to do this double shift, otherwise they'll build some terminator robot to take my place and my ass will be on the street.
No, I'm not drunk, baby, it's this bad connection. You know the phones ain't the same since they busted up Ma Bell.
Scott notices Peter staring at him.
Hey, buddy, do you mind?
Peter reaches into his coat and removes his horn. He HONKS it at Scott.
Hit the pavement, asshole!
(into the phone)
No, I'm not talking to a stripper, it's some joker in a rabbit costume.
Peter lets a few horn BLASTS into his face again.
I'll call you back later, baby, I got somebody here just ordered up a heapin' plate a whipass.
Scott SLAMS the phone down and turns on Peter.
Hey, man, I got a pissed-off wife on the phone and a lap dance waiting across the street, so I don't got time for this shit, you hear me?
That's funny, I just had a pissed-off stripper on the phone and a lap dance from your wife!
Nobody talks that line of shit about my old lady but me! Let's dance, rabbit!
Peter grabs him and pretends to dance as Scott pushes him away.
What, are you one of them funny boys?
Peter HONKS the horn in his face. Scott shoves him.
Chill, asshole!
Your wife liked it fine when I honked my horn in her face!
Scott swats the horn from his hand.
It hits the ground and SQUEAKS.
Peter looks at it, his teeth gritting.
You shouldn't have done that!
Peter takes off his hat and pulls an oversized machete from it.
In one swift move, he splits Scott's head like a ripe melon.
Peter watches him fall and twitch as he slips his machete back into his hat.
Never piss off a dead rabbit!
Peter hops off.

Yeah, it's pretty weird stuff. Give me a yell at

No comments: