Idiot Wind

I played Laser Tag at my ten-year-old nephew's birthday party Saturday night and was soundly whipped by all takers. The seizure-inducing light and sound mix, as well as the mechanics of how the guns worked, took some getting used to. But the rather disturbing post-apocalyptic medieval fortress theme was interesting.

I was talking to my daughter about the Beatles the other day and realized that when I was her age great albums like "Let It Be" were only about ten years old. Now stuff that's ten years old to her is (at best) what, Nirvana? No wonder shit gets screwed up in this day and age.

I've decided that the 70s may not have been a great time to be an adult, but it was a good time to be a kid.

Now, doing my best to screw up the future, here's more from PETER ROTTENTAIL:


CUT TO:
INT. GRANDMA'S HOUSE (KITCHEN) -- MOMENTS LATER
Mooney looks at the water heater in the little utility room space behind the kitchen.
MOONEY
I know something that a-hole needs fixed, and it ain't a leaky pipe.
Mooney lugs out his pipe wrench.
Suddenly James pops his head around the corner, startling him.
JAMES
Hey, I'm going to go outside, get some air. Need anything?
MOONEY
Yeah, a real freakin' job!
James leaves as Mooney shakes his head.
Mooney hears the front door SHUT, then relaxes.
MOONEY (CONT'D)
Time to go on break!
CUT TO:
EXT. GRANDMA'S HOUSE -- MOMENTS LATER
James is trying to compose his thoughts.
JAMES
I'm going crazy.
He shoves his hands in his pockets and begins walking down the road.
The camera pans over, and finds Peter Rottentail standing in the shadows.
CUT TO:
INT. GRANDMA'S HOUSE (KITCHEN) -- CONTINUOUS
Mooney yanks a magazine out of his dirty bag of tools and sits down on the floor.
CUT TO:
INT. GRANDMA'S HOUSE (LIVING ROOM) -- MOMENTS LATER
Rottentail slips into the house, looking around.
He takes off his hat, and pulls his oversized killing machete out of his top hat.
He moves out of frame.
CUT TO:
INT. GRANDMA'S HOUSE (KITCHEN) -- CONTINUOUS
Mooney yawns and scratches, then chucks the magazine aside and starts idly fooling with the plumbing.
A shadow falls across him. He looks up, surprised.
Peter HONKS his horn.
MOONEY
What the hell?
Mooney shakes his head to clear it.
MOONEY (CONT'D)
I got to stop eating those mushrooms out of the back yard.
Peter HONKS his horn again.
MOONEY (CONT'D)
Jesus, I've got a splitting headache!
PETER
Do ya?
Peter changes hands, revealing the machete.
It goes up and comes down in a murderous stroke.
Mooney's skull cleaves.
PETER (CONT'D)
How 'bout now?
Mooney slumps on the floor.
Peter puts his machete and horn away. A leer comes across his face.
PETER (CONT'D)
Now to get some tail!
Peter hops out of frame.