Haven't gone back to PETER ROTTENTAIL pages for a while; not sure if anyone missed it, exactly. By the way, the results of my on-line poll are in, and the next script I will post is RING OF THE SORCERESS, my crazy dark fantasy opus and the least-despised of my poorly-rated scripts from Triggerstreet.com, a whole story in itself. More on RING OF THE SORCERESS, also called SWORD OF THE ZOMBIE and DOOMED SWORD RISING during its various incarnations, in the weeks to come.
Speaking of which, I got in some D&D with my brother and son on Saturday. It was fun to dig out some old characters and put them up against an island full of ghost pirates. D&D--it brings families closer together.
CUT TO:
EXT. GRANDMA'S HOUSE -- MORNING
The neighborhood is pleasant and quiet.
CUT TO:
INT. GRANDMA'S HOUSE (KITCHEN) -- CONTINUOUS
Lenny is dialing the phone in the foreground while James sips coffee and reads the paper in the background.
LENNY
Come on, Bill...last call means last call.
CUT TO:
INT. MOONEY'S SHOP -- MORNING
BILL MOONEY, a scruffy man in a scruffy office, finally puts down his girlie mag and picks up the phone.
MOONEY
Mooney's...what the hell do ya want?
LENNY (V.O.)
Yeah, is this Billy?
MOONEY
Naw.
LENNY (V.O.)
Well, can I speak with him?
MOONEY
Yeah, yeah, I'll get him.
Mooney drops the phone on the desk with a CLATTER and starts thumbing through his magazine. After a long moment, he chucks the magazine into a stack of rusty parts and debris stacked waist-high in the corner.
He picks the phone up again.
MOONEY (CONT'D)
This is Mooney. What piece a shit needs to be fixed?
LENNY (V.O.)
I am going to kick your ass, Mooney, if you put me on hold like that again!
MOONEY
What, I didn't do nothin'. That was my assistant.
LENNY (V.O.)
Tell him to pull his dick out of your mouth quicker next time then! And speaking of pipe, I got a leaky one.
MOONEY
Here's what ya do, Lenny. Turn around, back up to it, and run it up yer ass 'til it stops leaking.
LENNY (V.O.)
See ya in a couple hours.
MOONEY
No seeds and stems this time.
Mooney hangs up.
CUT TO:
INT. GRANDMA'S HOUSE (KITCHEN) -- CONTINUOUS
Lenny hangs up, shaking his head.
LENNY
We got our plumber.
James isn't paying attention. He folds the paper over.
JAMES
Damn, do you remember Scott Dalloway? Kid from the old neighborhood? Got mugged at a payphone last night. Dead.
LENNY
Whatever, I remember he was kind of a jackass anyway.
JAMES
What, so he deserved to die?
LENNY
Well, you know, you gotta go sometime.
JAMES
Man, when was the last time I saw Scott?
LENNY
I dunno, I think he moved away that summer after, what, fifth or sixth grade?
JAMES
Wow...I think the last time I saw him was when...
Lenny spins.
LENNY
Don't say the word birthday, party, cake, candle, presents, magic, magician, wand--
JAMES
Okay, okay, shit!
LENNY
Just step off with the whole thing. Damn, I never had a magician at my parties. Mine was all Grandpa Walt and "pull my finger."
JAMES
Okay, then let's get on with "Operation Cleanup."
LENNY
Operation, that sounds all military, like work and shit. Let's tone that noise down a little.
JAMES
Let's go, Lenny!
Both men exit.
Give me a yell at johnoakdalton@hotmail.com.
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